


jazz bar

by theoneishouldloveinthisworld



Category: Produce 101 (TV), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Domestic Bliss, Established Relationship, First Dates, Fluff, Getting Together, Intoxication, Love Confessions, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Post Produce 101
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:15:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 30,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23092462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theoneishouldloveinthisworld/pseuds/theoneishouldloveinthisworld
Summary: The one where Hangyul accidentally kisses his best friend Seungyoun goodbye and doesn't notice until he's already halfway to the store.
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Lee Hangyul
Comments: 14
Kudos: 77





	1. your familiar feeling

**Author's Note:**

> At first, I wrote this for myself to alleviate the pain of d word, but then I thought why not share it with others? If you decide to stick around, in other chapters there'll be more fluff and basically how their relationship plays out afterward.
> 
> For now, enjoy!

Here’s the thing. Developing a massive crush on Seungyoun was never a part of Hangyul’s plan - it was just one of those inevitable things you saw coming from afar. It was an incoming tsunami and Hangyul could only let himself get washed over by it. 

He doesn’t know when it finally hits him. Somewhere between all their all-nighters in a stuffy practice room and accidentally mixing up their clothes while getting dressed at the dead of night. Somewhere in that tangle, Hangyul’s heart grows accustomed to the extra bounce it gets when his eyes land on Seungyoun and his lungs happily stumble because of a gasp when Seungyoun’s hand brushes against his. Somewhere along the way, he welcomes Seungyoun’s body like an extra limb. 

Which explains why he one day leans in and pecks Seungyoun goodbye and doesn’t bat an eye until he’s crossed half of the path to the convenience store. He stops dead in his tracks and a woman who’s been trailing behind him almost walks into him. She narrowly dodges his motionless body and goes on her way. Hangyul doesn’t even notice her.

He replays the moment in his head as best as he can in an attempt to make sense of it. Seungyoun and Hangyul were in one of the secluded rooms that they used for practice when the presence of cameras became too much. The staff had quietly let them know a few of those existed around the practice center, knowing how distracting the cameras could get. Only a few of them used it, some had grown used to the staff peering at them from behind lenses while some just wanted to take a break from it all.

Only the two of them were in the practice room, Hangyul helping Seungyoun with a certain move. After hours of relentless repetition, Hangyul announced they needed a snack otherwise their bones would break. Seungyoun didn’t seem to agree with the plan or Hangyul’s theory, but he let his body slowly slide down the foggy mirror which Hangyul chose to interpret as a win for him. Seungyoun rarely showed fatigue. 

Hangyul proceeded to gather a few essentials for the trip to the store, turned to Seungyoun, leaned in and pecked him on the lips. It was as simple as that, as far as Hangyul recalls. Which makes no sense? They have never kissed before and yet it felt like muscle memory. 

Hangyul tries to remember what Seungyoun’s reaction was, but he didn’t manage to catch it. He turned around on his heel and left the room. 

Hangyul continues to the store with much slower steps, still examining the situation in his head. What will he do when he returns? Face the music or pretend nothing happened? Claim Seungyoun imagined it all because he’s been working so hard for days now and he needs some rest? What will happen if he owns up to his… mistake?

Hangyul doesn’t see it as a mistake. Sure, he has imagined their first kiss going a little different, but at least it happened. Hangyul has always imagined it happening near the Han River where Hangyul would take Seungyoun on their first date. In the case of Hangyul never mustering enough courage to ask Seungyoun out, the kiss would then happen after their team wins the mission. In one of the secluded practice rooms. 

But not out of nowhere on a Wednesday afternoon just before Hangyul leaves for an ordinary grocery trip. 

Seungyoun’s unknown reaction worries him only a little. He knows Seungyoun likes him back. Hangyul catches Seungyoun’s eyes on him as often as Seungyoun catches Hangyul’s on him. He blushes when Hangyul compliments him. The air gets tight when Hangyul has to move Seungyoun’s limbs for him to properly demonstrate a move. Seungyoun only ever accepts ramen from Hangyul and no one else. He’s tested this with Dohyon. Dohyon who frequently reminds Hangyul that he should ask Seungyoun out. 

So, yes. It is only a matter of time. Hangyul has always thought Seungyoun is going to be the one to initiate something since he’s a very confident individual. But, for whatever reason, he isn’t doing… anything. And that is the part that worries Hangyul.

What’s Seungyoun so scared of?

Hangyul finally reaches the store and spends a maximum of three minutes inside. He’s never shopped faster. He usually takes his time picking up every article of food and examining it. Once during a joint snack run, Seungyoun called Hangyul meticulous as the younger carefully read the ingredients of some random chips bag. When Hangyul looked over to his side where Seungyoun (always) was, he noticed how intensely Seungyoun had been watching him. Both of them blushed when they caught each other’s eyes and looked away. 

“Yeah, you don’t get abs with a shit diet,” Hangyul replied, trying to refocus. It was the truth, he cared a lot about his health and physical appearance which by association meant caring a lot about the quantity and quality of his intake. 

“Props to your diet then,” Seungyoun said, still behind him. Hangyul felt the hairs on his neck raise. He knew Seungyoun was checking him out, he felt his eyes on his body. Seungyoun had never held back from outright checking Hangyul out and letting him know he had a killer physique. Hangyul had always told himself to pay attention if Seungyoun did that to other trainees as well, but the crush and the competition itself kept him busy enough. 

“Thanks,” Hangyul responded. He put all his effort into making that one-word reply sound as normal as possible. He assumed it worked because Seungyoun didn’t say anything anymore. He felt both disappointment and relief.

On his way back, Hangyul tries to hype himself up. The so-called damage has been done and Hangyul should act like an adult and properly approach the aftermath. He is going to ask Seungyoun out. He obviously can’t take it anymore. If he, by any chance, gets rejected, he will just continue to focus on the competition. It’s the reason why he’s here. 

But it will surely be a bitch to continue with a dark cloud over his head.

Once he gets to the door of the secluded practice room, he hesitates. He desperately wants to kiss Seungyoun again, this time consciously, but the stepping stones to there seem as if they’re placed on a thin rope between two mountain peaks. 

Before he even gets to recite his opening line that he just thought of to Seungyoun, the door swings open. Behind them, Seungyoun. He’s not as sweaty as he was when Hangyul left, but his hair still looks disheveled and his cheeks still hold a slight tint. His face looks… concerned? Hangyul can’t interpret it.

“Hey,” Hangyul says, completely missing the first word of his planned opening line. It's okay, improvisation is his strong suit anyway. At least, that's what he's always been told. 

Seungyoun ignores the greeting, warily looks around the hallway Hangyul is still standing in and pulls the younger one inside the room. Hangyul yelps in surprise, but he lets himself be dragged. It’s Seungyoun, he probably has a good reason. And it’s not like Hangyul needs a valid reason to follow Seungyoun anywhere.

Once inside, Seungyoun shuts the door behind them. A glance around the room lets Hangyul know they’re alone, again. He slowly grows more anxious. 

“We should talk,” Seungyoun states, looking straight at Hangyul. He has his arms behind his back and Hangyul knows from before that he’s probably twiddling his thumbs. As wrong as it sounds and feels, Hangyul finds reassurance in Seungyoun’s uneasy demeanor. It probably points towards a good thing, right?

“Yeah, I agree,” Hangyul says and motions Seungyoun to take a seat at their usual spot by the mirror. The bag with snacks crinkles as it dangles from Hangyul’s hand, but he can’t hear it over his thumping heart.

They sit down and Hangyul contemplates for a few moments whether he should put the bag with snacks between them or beside them? Would it be weird if he put it between them? Seungyoun could read the move wrong and assume Hangyul is trying to put some distance between them. Maybe better if it’s beside them? But, what if Hangyul misunderstood Seungyoun’s behavior and Seungyoun’s about to drop their friendship because of Hangyul’s thoughtless actions?

Hangyul’s internal dilemma must have bled out onto the surface because Seungyoun reaches out for the bag in Hangyul’s hand and places it beside them. Huh.

“Why did you kiss me?” Seungyoun asks, sitting cross-legged with his twiddling thumbs between his legs. His eyes look like a mixture of dismay and hope, something Hangyul has seen on him several times in the past when their rankings were announced. So, Seungyoun cares about this, Hangyul concludes.

Despite the gratifying and confidence-boosting conclusion, he replies with: “I don’t know.”

Seungyoun’s shoulders sag, prompting Hangyul to quickly add: “But I… don’t regret it.”

Seungyoun sighs and rubs his temple. Moments like these are rare for Seungyoun, he's always been all sunshine and daisies, despite the stress. 

“Hangyul, I’m very confused right now and half-convinced I’m hallucinating. I might be, I haven’t slept in days. So - “

“You haven’t slept in days? I thought I told you to get some shut-eye last night?” Hangyul interjects.

“First of all, I’m the older one, you can’t boss me around,” Seungyoun says, pointing at Hangyul with his index finger. “And second of all, I ran into Hyunbin last night and he needed help with his rap. So I helped him.”

Hangyul rolls his eyes. They’ve had this conversation many times before and yet Seungyoun’s too stubborn to learn his lesson. “I know you care about others, I get it, but you need to take care of yourself as well.”

“I’m well aware, thank you,” Seungyoun huffs and crosses his arms. At least he isn’t twiddling his thumbs anymore. 

“We have three days to go to the live stage, I think you should get some sleep until then,” Hangyul continues and holds up a finger. “I’m allowing you one more all-nighter.”

“Oh, you’re allowing me?” Seungyoun leans in as he says. However, he immediately swings back, exhaling in frustration. “First of all, _again_ , I’m older and second of all, this isn’t the time for my sleeping schedule discussion, but about the fact that you kissed me and left as if nothing happened.”

“I didn’t even realize I kissed you until I was almost at the store,” Hangyul retorts instantly. “It was so… natural that I didn’t even register it at first.”

Seungyoun’s shoulders sag again as the tension from before leaves. He rests his head on the mirror beside him. “What does that mean?” he asks, maintaining eye contact with Hangyul. His eyes still look tired.

Suddenly Hangyul feels an urge to twiddle his thumbs. The sound of his heart in his ears is prevailing everything around him. Despite feeling as if he'll lose his voice and breath any second, he says: “It means I’ve been thinking about us for so long that my mind tricked itself into thinking we’re… us. I guess. I think? I’m not sure. You see, I - “

Seungyoun raises his head and sighs loudly. “Hangyul.”

Hangyul gulps as Seungyoun raises his head away from the mirror and straightens his back, not looking away from Hangyul. 

“Let’s settle this before I get a heart attack. Do you like me?” Seungyoun asks. Hangyul can see he’s trying to force a confident pose, but his eyes are betraying him. They look nervous, just like they always do during ranking episodes. He really cares about this, Hangyul concludes, again. 

“Yes, I like you,” Hangyul replies. “Very much,” he adds, albeit quieter. “Isn’t it obvious?” he asks, even quieter than before. 

Seungyoun exhales, shakily, and lets his head fall onto the mirror again. “Okay. This is good. This is very good. Great, in fact,” he starts saying, his eyes closed and his lips slowly curving upwards. Then, his eyes open. “And slightly embarrassing.”

Hangyul scowls despite feeling jittery for the past few minutes. “Embarrassing? What’s embarrassing?”

Seungyoun grimaces and drops his face into his hands. “I thought you were a very flirty person. You know, someone who flirts with just about everyone. I’m usually good at reading other people’s personalities so I thought I had you all figured out. Which is why I was convinced you didn’t like me at all. That you were just… interacting with me. Like a friend.”

Hangyul gapes. Seungyoun peeks at him from his hands. Hangyul as a very flirty person? He tries to rewind all these past months in his head and pinpoint when exactly he flirted with anyone who wasn't Seungyoun. 

And he falls short.

He's quite positive he's had his eyes on Seungyoun right from the beginning, as clichéd as that sounds. 

“Can you say something?” Seungyoun asks, detaching his hands from his face. He starts twiddling his thumbs again. 

Hangyul has to consciously make his mouth work. “You're lucky I fell for your looks and not your brains."

Seungyoun looks taken aback for a second before his face breaks into a huge grin. “You're the worst. I don't know why I like you.”

Hangyul, who has to clasp his hands together to prevent them from shaking, gives full control to his speech abilities. Somehow, despite feeling flustered around Seungyoun most of the time, his mouth seems to easily keep up with their continuous banter. 

Maybe that's why Seungyoun perceived him as a self-assured playful type of guy? Because he effortlessly plays along with whatever Seungyoun throws his way, be it whimsical or provoking? 

Still, a very dumb deduction considering all the evidence comes from one source and that is Hangyul's never-ending bickering with Seungyoun. 

“If you like me so much, why don't you finally ask me out?” Hangyul asks and almost winks. He chickens out right before. His eyes aren't as composed as his mouth.

Seungyoun maintains his wide smile and says, slow so it's as comprehensible as possible: “Would you like to go on a date with me?”

Hangyul’s expression mirrors Seungyoun’s as his lips stretch into a smile. “I would love to.”

The two beam at each other for a few moments. 

“Can I kiss you? Consciously?” Hangyul breaks the silence. His heart hasn’t stopped thumping for a while now. He wonders if it's normal to have your heart feel as if you've run a marathon even after sitting down.

Seungyoun lets out a chuckle. “Yes, please. The first one happened out of nowhere and so fast that I was convinced I was dreaming.”

Hangyul scoots closer until their knees touch. 

“Speaking of dreaming… one condition,” Hangyul says, lifting his finger. “After we kiss, you’re going to bed and you’re staying there for at least an hour.”

Seungyoun pouts, but the close proximity of Hangyul makes him spread his lips into a smile again. “Only if you’ll stop bossing me around after that.”

Hangyul rolls his eyes benevolently. “Fine. Let’s kiss on it.”

Seungyoun’s about to grab the back of Hangyul’s neck when they hear footsteps nearing the practice room. Their eyes meet for a split second before they both pull away. A breath later, Jinhyuk enters with Kookheon in tow.

“Hey, gang!” Jinhyuk exclaims. “I knew you two would be here.”

“Hey,” Seungyoun says and clears his throat. Both him and Hangyul are blushing. “What’s up?”

Kookheon starts stretching immediately, as best as he can with his foot injury. Jinhyuk puts his Bluetooth speaker at its usual spot in the corner and makes his way towards the two by the mirror. 

“Eh, nothing much,” Jinhyuk responds and drops himself beside them. He notices the discarded snacks. “Ooh, is this for us?”

Hangyul, who’s stayed silent the entire time, nods. He’s still a bit shell-shocked, so to say. He just scored a date with Seungyoun and almost a kiss. How is he expected to act normal in these conditions? 

He glances at Seungyoun, wondering if the older one is feeling the same way. According to the way his cheeks are still slightly pink and he keeps blinking while struggling to maintain eye contact with Jinhyuk, Hangyul assumes he isn’t doing so swell either. 

“We were just about to head back to the dorm to rest for a bit. We’ve been here since 7 AM,” Hangyul tells Jinhyuk. “Do you need help with anything, though?”

Jinhyuk shakes his hand. “Don’t be ridiculous, I can tell you two are exhausted. Kook and I have it under control, don’t worry.”

Kookheon murmurs something from behind him, seemingly in agreement.

Hangyul smiles at him, both in relief and gratitude. 

“We should get going then. I can feel my eyelids dropping,” Seungyoun says, side-eyeing Hangyul and then quickly smiling at Jinhyuk. “See you in a few hours.”

Seungyoun and Hangyul quickly gather a few of their scattered belongings and exit the room. Hangyul is about to turn left, towards their dorm when Seungyoun grabs his hand and pulls him towards the opposite direction. 

That’s where the toilets are, Hangyul realizes after dwelling on the fact Seungyoun’s hand feels warm enveloped around his. 

“What are you doing?” Hangyul asks, not fighting the older one, for once. 

“No cameras in the toilet. I want my kiss,” Seungyoun says simply and to Hangyul it sounds like the cutest thing in the world. He bursts into laughter upon hearing it and Seungyoun turns around to give him a weird look. “What?”

“You’re cute, that’s all,” Hangyul responds. Seungyoun smiles sheepishly and looks away. Hangyul squeezes his hand in return and prays Seungyoun doesn’t feel his pulse.

Then again, does it even matter anymore? They confessed to each other and Seungyoun is now literally dragging him to a secluded toilet to kiss. He should show Seungyoun how much he wanted this so they can keep this thing going as long as possible. Whatever this thing is. Boyfriends?

Hangyul picks up the pace for the sake of both of them and curses the fact the hallways are so long. 

“Why are we speed-walking, do you need to pee?” Seungyoun asks as he struggles to keep up with Hangyul, running out of breath. Hangyul slows down and mentally kicks himself for forgetting Seungyoun is practically exhausted. 

“I want my kiss too. Soon,” Hangyul answers. Then, an idea comes to his mind. There are no cameras in the hallways either.

He stops in his tracks and startles Seungyoun by doing so. He looks around the vacant hallway, turns his head back to Seungyoun and leans in. Before a single moment goes by, their lips touch. Again, for the second time today. At least this time Hangyul can say he's aware of it as it's happening.

Seungyoun lets out a surprised sound when Hangyul kisses him, but he melts into it almost instantly. Hangyul takes Seungyoun’s other hand in his. No one can see them, it’s alright. If they hear someone approaching, they have enough time to break apart. After all, the hallways are very long. 

Maybe that's not such a bad thing after all?

However, Seungyoun breaks the kiss apart, much to Hangyul's chagrin. “Let’s call this a preview and move towards the actual thing. In the toilets,” he says with his lips red. Hangyul can barely look away from them. 

“Ugh, you’re so lucky I like you,” Hangyul sighs, but decides to comply, letting Seungyoun drag him further down the hallway. 

“What, you don’t like it when I boss you around?” Seungyoun retorts, throwing Hangyul a wink. Hangyul’s knees turn to jello, but he keeps walking, determined to feel Seungyoun’s lips on his, soon.

“Yeah, I don’t really trust your judgment and decision making,” Hangyul says. “After all, you thought I was a, what did you call it, a very flirty person?”

Seungyoun glares at Hangyul. “Are you going to bring that up all the time now?”

“Yes, absolutely.” Hangyul nods to exasperate the older even more. 

“Okay, mister I-kissed-my-friend-and-dipped,” Seungyoun replies, raising their joined hands in the air and dropping Hangyul's.

“Sorry for liking you so much that my brain took over my body,” Hangyul says, pretending to be annoyed. “Won’t happen again, I promise.”

“Oh, interesting. I didn’t know you possessed a brain?” Seungyoun asks as he turns so he's walking backward, facing Hangyul and feigning interest. 

“Yeah, you learn something new every day,” Hangyul responds and grabs Seungyoun's hand back hastily. He holds it tighter than before. “I hope you learn to read people better one day, too.”

“I hope you learn how to shut your mouth one day.”

“I hope you’ll help me with that.”

Thankfully, their walk ends. When they enter, they find the toilet empty. Seungyoun proceeds to tug them to one of the stalls at the very end. Hangyul doubts they can both fit there, but at least he’ll have an excuse to be near Seungyoun.

They close the stall behind them with a loud bang and before each can take another breath, Seungyoun leaps forward and plants his lips on Hangyul’s.

They both moan, failing to contain their impatience. Seungyoun wastes no time in sneaking his hands under Hangyul’s sweatshirt and all Hangyul can do is let it happen. He’s been dreaming about this for months. He reaches to snake his hands through Seungyoun’s hair, just to prove it to himself he isn’t actually dreaming. Not that Seungyoun’s warm hands brushing past his abdomen and hot lips on his aren’t enough proof, it’s just Hangyul needs to make sure. 

It isn’t long until Hangyul feels Seungyoun push his leg between Hangyul’s and his tongue into Hangyul’s mouth. 

* * *

When they return to their room after their intense make-out session in the toilet with tousled hair and rumpled clothes, Seungyoun makes a beeline for his bed. Hangyul follows suit, despite knowing he won’t be able to sleep for a while. His mind is racing and his heart has barely calmed down. He wants to keep kissing and touching Seungyoun, he wants to talk to him about whatever without having to hold back his feelings. He used to choose his words carefully around Seungyoun after his crush developed to the fullest. He flirted, alright, but those moments were when he slipped up and could not gain back control of his mouth. Only Seungyoun’s blushing face kept him going sometimes, but his fast-beating heart scared him into retracting. He was always worried about going too far and scaring Seungyoun away. 

But now he doesn’t need to hold back. 

The room is empty, save for newly arrived Seungyoun and Hangyul. If it weren’t for the cameras, Hangyul would take the opportunity to smother Seungyoun in kisses until the older fell asleep. Following that, he would lay in bed with him. 

Instead, he has to settle for his bed across Seungyoun’s. At least he can look at him while Seungyoun sleeps. Or is that weird?

“Would it be weird if I stared at you while you slept?” Hangyul asks quietly, hoping the cameras don’t pick it up. 

Seungyoun snorts as he plops down on his bed. “It would, but I understand,” he says and sighs as his head finally hits the pillow. “I’m very handsome.”

“You’re not handsome,” Hangyul says, sitting down on his bed. 

Seungyoun opens his eyes and is about to bite back, but Hangyul adds: “You’re drop-dead gorgeous.”

Seungyoun promptly closes his mouth and smiles. “You’re not so bad yourself, Lee Hangyul.”

Hangyul almost giggles. Almost. He’s too tired to fight back his excitement. 

“In case beauty is contagious, can I stare at you?” Hangyul asks and lets himself sink into his pillow as well. If everything that happened before this didn’t happen, he’d say this feeling was the best in the world. Luckily, he knows better now.

“You should go to sleep,” Seungyoun says, his eyes drooping. He lied down in his sweaty clothes and usually Hangyul would berate him, but today Hangyul is doing the same thing. “You’ve worked hard today.”

“You’re expecting me to sleep after all of this?” Hangyul asks, quickly turning on his hip so he's facing Seungyoun's worn out form. “I could jump to the moon right now.”

Seungyoun giggles. At the same time, Hangyul discovers he has a new favorite sound in the world. 

“Go to sleep, you’re making me look bad in comparison to you,” Seungyoun says, his eyes still closed. Hangyul can see a small smile on his lips. 

“Not my fault the only thing you’re committed to is reading people wrong,” Hangyul replies.

“You’re so annoying,” Seungyoun says, but there’s glee in his voice.

“Yeah, well, if you read people right, you’d know that,” Hangyul says back. 

“I’ll just think of you as an onion,” Seungyoun responds.

“Are you saying I stink?” Hangyul asks, trying to act offended.

“No, I’m saying you have layers. And each is a new surprise,” Seungyoun says, waving his arms around as he explains.

“I don’t think each layer of an onion has a surprise,” Hangyul says. 

“There goes that big brain of yours,” Seungyoun deadpans, lowering his hands. 

“Also, onions make people cry. Do I make you cry?” Hangyul asks, knowing full well he's unnecessarily winding Seungyoun up. He can't help it, it's the only way they talk.

“I’m going to cry if you don’t go to sleep,” Seungyoun answers, pretending to whine.

“I wouldn’t want that. Good night,” Hangyul says, completely changing his tone. He does know when to stop, thank you very much.

“It’s like 3 PM,” Seungyoun says cheekily.

“I swear to God,” Hangyul groans. He buries his face in his pillow. Maybe he misinterpreted the time to stop. “Now you’re annoying.”

“Yeah, what can I say?” Seungyoun says and flips on his hip so he can wink at Hangyul. “You’ve rubbed off of me.”

“Hell yeah, I did,” Hangyul answers.

* * *

It doesn’t take long for people to catch on. 

Seungyoun and Hangyul try to stay as normal as possible with cameras and staff around, but as soon as they’re gone, their hands just fly to each other. Sometimes they don’t even notice they’re practically tangled together until they’re not anymore.

Their team figures it out first. Well, actually, they don’t have to do much brainstorming to come to a conclusion. Hangyul and Seungyoun are in one of the secluded practice rooms, practicing and making out most of the time. 

They’re in the middle of the latter when the remainder of their team - Jinhyuk, Kookheon, Hyunbin, and Byungchan - enters. Before the duo has time to break apart, Byungchan screams, Hyunbin pretends to gag and Jinhyuk meets Kookheon’s smiling face with a scowl.

“You owe me ramen, Jinhyuk,” Kookheon teases and winks at Jinhyuk’s annoyed face.

“Ugh, why am I so bad at this?” Jinhyuk says as he casually begins to unpack his backpack on the floor. “This is like the third couple I failed to see coming.”

Meanwhile, Seungyoun and Hangyul are still in an embrace, both frozen. Hangyul would move, but he knows for a fact he wouldn’t know what to do with his hands, so it’s better if they stay underneath Seungyoun’s sweatshirt.

Hyunbin catches sight of an outline of Hangyul’s hands under Seungyoun’s clothes and pretends to gag again. “I’m underage, you perverts!”

Seungyoun is the first to move away. His face is completely red. “So, uhh…” 

“So, how long has this been a thing?” Kookheon asks and he lets his backpack slowly slide down his shoulder onto the parquet. 

Seungyoun and Hangyul share a look. Hangyul makes a dumb-founded expression. Seungyoun matches his before saying: “A few days, I guess”

Byungchan screams again, this time excitedly. “Pay up!” he exclaims, hitting Kookheon’s arm happily. 

This time, Kookheon’s expression mimics Jinhyuk’s. He sighs and glares at the couple. “You couldn’t have waited after the mission?”

Seungyoun and Hangyul share another, this time confused look. 

“What’s going on?” Hangyul asks, his eyes shifting from Kookheon to Byungchan to Jinhyuk. Hyunbin is still making an act of gagging.

Byungchan happily strolls closer to them and places himself between them. He stretches his arms and puts it over their shoulders.

“ _So_ ,” he begins, a wide grin on his face. “During _Love Shot_ , Wooseok started a bet on how long it would take you two to get together.”

“He complained about you two to me for days on end,” Jinhyuk adds from his spot on the floor. He has already put his Bluetooth speaker in the corner. “How you kept flirting, hugging or whatever. You know it all already.”

Hangyul turns to Seungyoun. “We flirted back then?”

Seungyoun’s face copies Hangyul’s. “We hugged?”

Between them, Byungchan squeals. “Ooh, you didn’t even realize? That makes it so much more real then!” Byungchan tells them, psyched out of his mind.

“You’re gonna scare them with that, they’ve been official for a few days only,” Kookheon warns. His eyes catch Hyunbin who’s still gagging. “Will you stop?”

Hyunbin’s eyebrows furrow in protest, but he obeys. 

“Anyway, Wooseok got a couple of us in on this bet at first,” Jinhyuk elaborates. “However, by the time the mission ended, half of the trainees joined in.”

Hangyul chokes on his saliva. “ _Half_?”

“As in, fifty people?” Seungyoun asks, his eyes bulging out.

“Yeah!” Byungchan confirms contentedly. “I still get texts from the eliminated ones whether you two are together yet or not.”

“Holy shit, Seungyoun, you’re _really_ bad at reading people,” Hangyul says, leaning back to try and catch Seungyoun’s eyes.

“I’m going to strangle you on national TV,” Seungyoun retorts, throwing him a dirty look.

“Maybe I’ll finally get some screen time then,” Hangyul says at the same time as Kookheon comments: “Kinky.”

Seungyoun breaks apart from Byungchan’s arm slung across his shoulder and faces everyone in the room clearly frustrated. “Okay, basically everyone knows about the two of us? And no one is… weirded out?”

Kookheon nods cautiously. “I mean, yeah, there are a couple of ‘bad apples’ who are disgusted, but -”

“Just to be clear, I’m not homophobic, I was just… joking,” Hyunbin interrupts, his face starting to redden.

“Will you let me finish?” Kookheon says slightly irritated. “Anyway, _yes_ , some are not in on this and some are. Honestly, just keep it on the down-low.”

Seungyoun nods in response and puts his hands on his hips. “Yeah, we have been for the past few days.”

Jinhyuk snorts, still situated on the floor. “No, you haven’t.”

Byungchan giggles. “You two are really oblivious.”

“I mean, we know Hangyul is, like, legally blind, but not _that_ blind,” Kookheon adds, cracking a smile.

“Yeah, you guys straight up showered together last night. For an hour,” Hyunbin says and starts to pretend to gag again.

“Stop,” Kookheon tells him almost immediately. Hyunbin closes his mouth.

Seungyoun clears his throat and shifts on his feet. “Well then.”

Jinhyuk jumps to his feet. “You don’t have to feel awkward! We saw this coming. Besides, you’re not acting _that_ different from before.”

Hangyul looks puzzled. “Wait, what? What do you mean?”

Byungchan sighs. “You two always flirt and cuddle and tease each other. It’s nothing new for us.”

“I thought only Dohyon knew,” Hangyul says quietly, more to himself than anyone else. “I only told him.”

Hangyul told him only because Dohyon was on the brink of realizing it himself and Hangyul couldn’t let him do that. He’d have never heard the end of it - how Dohyon was so observant and sharp-eyed and how downright adorable Hangyul is for developing a crush on none other than Seungyoun.

Seungyoun turns to look at him, perplexed yet again. To be honest, he never stopped being confused. They both keep getting more and more bewildered.

“You told him too?” Seungyoun asks.

Hangyul’s eyes widen. “ _Too_? When did you tell him?”

“A few weeks back. Right after _Yes or No_.”

Hangyul sighs, loudly. “I told him right after _Love Shot_.”

“And he didn’t tell me anything about it? I ranted about the whole crush for an hour straight,” Seungyoun says.

“Maybe he’s homophobic,” Hyunbin adds, shrugging at the duo.

Kookheon rolls his eyes.


	2. that smile that lights you up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You just want to turn me into a twink, is that it?” Hangyul asks teasingly.
> 
> “Oh, my God,” Seungyoun chokes as he buries his head into Hangyul’s neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, again! I realized that I forgot to mention last time that although the plot is based on real life, we're still going to pretend like homophobia is a rare thing these days. I'm gay myself so it's not like I lack the experience of gay panicking and discrimination, it's just that I feel this fic can do well without it. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you to everyone who left kudos and comments last time, I really appreciate the feedback. I hope you like this chapter as well. After this, we'll be diving into debut era (finally!!).
> 
> Enjoy!

The first time Seungyoun cries in Hangyul’s arms is right after the penultimate mission. 

They’re in the same stall where Seungyoun dragged them that day they got together. Except, this time Hangyul did the dragging.

After hearing the announcement that their team came in second, all of their team members were, naturally, disappointed. Hangyul stood a few feet behind Seungyoun at the time, but he could still tell the older one was upset, even from his back. His shoulders sagged and he stopped fidgeting in his spot.

It took a few hours until the filming stopped and they cleared out the backstage. By the time the trainees reached the dorm, Hangyul could tell Seungyoun was about to burst any minute. He had been staring straight ahead whenever no one spoke to him and had only offered quick smiles to other people. In the van on the way back, Seungyoun had immediately entered the vehicle which was out of character for him. He was the type to wait for everyone to enter so he could make sure everyone was present. 

That night, however, he had trudged towards the van and had chosen the furthest possible spot. Hangyul had got a seat next to him, but Seungyoun had barely spoken. He had stared outside at the rainy July night and kept his hands in his lap.

Once there, before Seungyoun could stomp his way to their room, Hangyul caught his hand in his and pulled him towards the toilet. 

“Hangyul?” Seungyoun asked silently, his eyes barely meeting Hangyul’s. He tried to keep his voice from shaking, but Hangyul could still hear it.

“Don’t cry in the shower tonight,” Hangyul told him and tugged him closer. “I can always hear when someone cries in there.”

“What?” Seungyoun met his eyes.

Hangyul squeezed his hand. “No one’s going to hear you cry in the toilet across the building.”

Seungyoun sniffled. “Thank you,” he said and squeezed Hangyul’s hand back. “I didn’t know the walls were that thin.”

“Who knows. I have a theory though,” Hangyul began, trying to lighten the mood.

“About what?”

“Since my eyesight is shit, maybe my other senses are heightened, you know?” Hangyul explained as he made sure to swing his hand around to keep Seungyoun engaged. “Maybe I can hear everything happening in the shower because I got super hearing.”

“It would also explain your inability to eat spicy food,” Seungyoun added quickly, as if on cue. “Your sense of taste is stronger.”

“Exactly!” Hangyul said and peeked at Seungyoun. He still looked miserable, but less so than before. Perhaps Hangyul was good at making Seungyoun feel good?

When they reached the toilets. Hangyul motioned Seungyoun to enter.

“I’ll be at the dorm if you need me,” he told Seungyoun. He leaned in to kiss his cheek when the older one stopped him by placing his hand on Hangyul’s shoulder.

“You’re leaving?” Seungyoun asked, his voice quiet. He looked at Hangyul with pleading eyes.

“I… I thought maybe you wanted to be alone,” Hangyul elaborated. 

Seungyoun grimaced. “I’ve been alone for too long.” he nudged the back of Hangyul’s hand with his own. “You’re welcome to cry it all out with me. You must be heartbroken too.”

Hangyul smiled, but it wasn’t genuine. He was correct. His heart was in a million pieces now. His chances of debuting have gone back even further.

“Come on,” Seungyoun said and pulled them inside. Once again, the restroom was empty. Seungyoun decided to occupy their usual stall. The moment they locked the door behind them, he rested his head on Hangyul’s shoulder.

It wasn’t long until Hangyul felt his sweatshirt dampen. He rested his head on Seungyoun’s and closed his eyes. Seungyoun reached out and put his arms around Hangyul. Hangyul immediately followed suit.

That’s when Seungyoun breaks down.

He sobs and shakes for a few minutes as Hangyul lacks the words to comfort him. Instead, he holds him closer and tighter despite his own body trembling. Hangyul’s collarbone and shoulder are wet, as well as the top of Seungyoun’s head.

“It’s just... “ Seungyoun begins wobbly, his head not moving from Hangyul. “I was so sure we were going to win.”

“I know. I felt good about it too,” Hangyul says. His heart drops with each wavering breath Seungyoun takes.

“I think it would be easier to handle this if we came in third or fourth. Hell, last,” Seungyoun continues. His voice raises in volume as he talks more. He’s getting indignant. “That moment when we were waiting to see who was first… that’s when I was most convinced we were first.”

Seungyoun raises his head from Hangyul’s shoulder. He’s not looking at him, his eyes are skipping from one thing to another as his thoughts race, still under the influence of the upsetting night. “And then we came in second and… I felt the air leaving my lungs. As stupid as it sounds, I thought I’d never breathe properly again. I felt empty.”

Hangyul gulps and nods in understanding. “All the hope leaves your body… you’re just left with despair, I guess.” Hangyul has felt that way too many times.

Seungyoun nods back and rests his head back on Hangyul’s shoulder. His arms raise up Hangyul’s body to his back and Seungyoun pulls him closer.

“This time, I let myself hope. I daydreamed about it. I almost wrote a small speech in case they asked everyone to comment on the victory,” Hangyul says after a long silence. “However, I stopped myself.”

Seungyoun laughs, bitterly. “I memorized my speech last night.”

Hangyul sighs and plants a kiss on top of Seungyoun’s damp head. “You’ll get to say it one day.”

“That day is certainly taking its sweet, precious time to come,” Seungyoun snorts into Hangyul’s collarbone. 

“Yeah, what the fuck,” Hangyul laughs, but it isn’t out of joy. He’s tired, both physically and mentally. Nothing makes sense anymore. He doesn’t know what to expect from the competition anymore.

“Let’s sleep in the same bed tonight,” Seungyoun says abruptly as he untangles himself from Hangyul. 

“But the - “

Seungyoun waves his hand. “Fuck the cameras. We’re not debuting anyway. Besides, Yohan and Dongpyo laid in bed together an episode ago or so.”

Hangyul smiles. It would be nice to end this distressing day with Seungyoun in his arms. “Okay. Let’s do it.”

Seungyoun smiles in return. “I’d offer to be the big spoon, but I’m not sure I can even embrace your muscular arms,” he says, eyeing Hangyul’s biceps.

Hangyul laughs, this time genuinely. “You’ve been thinking about this.”

Seungyoun’s tear-stained cheeks blush. “Well, yeah. I’ve given it some thought… for the past few months…”

Hangyul chuckles and pokes Seungyoun’s cheek. “You’re cute.”

“Even with my ruined makeup and sweaty clothes?” Seungyoun asks as he gently swats Hangyul’s prodding finger away.

“Absolutely,” Hangyul says as he grins. “You could be covered in mud and I’d check you out.”

Seungyoun grimaces. “Gross, but sweet. I’d… probably do the same, to be honest. You’d make mud look good on you. You make anything look good on you.”

Now it’s Hangyul’s turn to blush. “Get back here so you can look good,” Hangyul says, opening his arms.

Seungyoun scoffs and lightly punches Hangyul’s chest, but he gladly lets himself fall into his arms.

“You make this whole show so much more bearable,” Seungyoun whispers in the crook of Hangyul’s neck.

* * *

They’re not in the same team for the final mission.

Hangyul can’t say he’s not disappointed. This is their last mission and this is their last chance to share the stage. Seungyoun soared in rankings the week before, much to his and everyone’s surprise. Now there’s a chance he actually debuts. And Hangyul is so happy for him.

And so heartbroken for himself. He knows he’s going to take it hard, both the inability to debut again and the fact his break-up with Seungyoun is bound to happen. He knows that the months following the final episode will be hard. He’s scared of facing them all alone. Not even Dohyun is going to be there to distract him with his pesky 14-year-old antics.

“I’m going to miss you,” Hangyul tells Seungyoun one night when they’re in bed together. They’ve gotten braver and decided to just spend nights together. A few trainees have given them weird looks and quietly asked them whether they were sure they should be doing this in front of the cameras. Hangyul, the muscular big spoon, only tightened his grip around Seungyoun.

“I might not make it in. Or you might make it in!” Seungyoun responds animatedly in an effort to lift Hangyul’s spirit. “Anything could happen.”

“And that includes me missing you,” Hangyul says and kisses Seungyoun’s ear.

Seungyoun squirms in response, but he can’t escape since Hangyul is basically draped over him like a blanket. “I can’t believe I found someone more annoying than me.”

Hangyul laughs. “I bet you’re relieved.”

Seungyoun scoffs. “Yeah, right. I wore my ‘Most Annoying Person Ever’ crown very proudly, thank you very much.”

Hangyul is about to reply when Wooseok from the top bunk interjects with: “Will you two please shut the fuck up?”

“Sorry!” Seungyoun whispers.

“Oh, _now_ you’re whispering?” Wooseok replies and sighs. They can hear him turning in his bed irritatedly. “If I end up debuting with either of you two, I’m going to lose my mind.”

“Love you, too!” Seungyoun and Hangyul say at the same time.

“Ugh,” Wooseok sighs.

They go quiet. After a few minutes, Seungyoun whispers to Hangyul: “I am relieved, you know.”

“Huh?”

“I’m relieved that I met you,” Seungyoun finishes his thought.

* * *

The day of the finale is nerve-wracking, to say the least. Seungyoun refuses to let go of Hangyul’s hand off-camera and he keeps rubbing his thumb over Hangyul’s hand.

“You’re going to chafe my hand,” Hangyul complains, trying to pull away. “At least switch between hands.”

“Okay, okay,” Seungyoun obliges and hurriedly grabs Hangyul’s other hand as if his life depends on it. 

They’ve finished all the stages and now they just need to go and stand on the platforms for hours. They’ve got their uniforms on and they’re waiting for the producer to tell them to go on stage.

Suddenly, Seungyoun jumps to his feet and pulls Hangyul towards a particularly dark area of a hallway. Several trainees quirk an eye at them, but they mostly go unnoticed.

“What are you doing?” Hangyul asks but lets Seungyoun maneuver him around nevertheless. “We have to go up soon.”

Seungyoun spins to face Hangyul once they’re outside of everyone’s sight. “Let’s kiss before all of this. One last time.”

Hangyul gives him a puzzled look. “What are you -”

“No, no, no, I’m not breaking up with you,” Seungyoun adds hurriedly. He sighs and runs his hand across his face. “I’m afraid this,” he gestures between them, “will feel different after all of this ends.”

Hangyul’s eyes widen. “Oh. You think… you’re going to make it?”

Seungyoun nods nervously. He looks around, refusing to meet Hangyul’s eyes. “I have a good feeling, again. But, I’m not sure if I should trust it.”

“Why would anything change, though?” Hangyul asks. He’s been tossing and turning over this exact question for several nights and hasn’t gotten any closer to a concrete answer. He didn’t want to bring it up to Seungyoun out of fear he would ruin what little time they had left. 

Seungyoun is about to run his hand through his hair, but at the last second, he remembers the stylist will crucify him if even one strand of hair has gone rogue. Everyone’s on edge tonight, understandably so.

“I just think we’ll be more desperate and it won’t feel satisfying anymore,” Seungyoun explains slowly. “What if we won’t be happy?”

Hangyul gulps. That has crossed his mind as well. “I guess that makes sense.”

“I went into this competition with no expectations at all,” Seungyoun continues, like a dam of words in him suddenly leaving him. He’s about to raise his hand to his hair again, but Hangyul stops him in time. He interlocks their fingers together. “And then everything ended up… good? I had a great time because of others, but most importantly because of you.”

Usually, Hangyul would immediately jump into teasing Seungyoun and his corniness, but he stays silent. He’s had his heart in his mouth the entire day. If he tears up now, he won’t stop for some time.

“So this is such a great memory for me. I haven’t had a good memory in so long and I don’t want to ruin us, our memory, in the next few months,” Seungyoun sighs. He takes a hold of Hangyul’s other hand and pulls the younger closer. “Let’s promise each other that if things don’t go in our favor, we end it before it gets ugly.”

“Yeah,” Hangyul croaks out, struggling to meet Seungyoun’s eyes. He wants to say his throat feels heavy because he’s nervous, but there’s no point in lying to himself if he knows the truth. “Yeah, I agree.”

“If any of us feel as if things aren’t doing well, we tell each other immediately,” Seungyoun adds and leans in to catch Hangyul’s eyes. “Is that okay?”

Hangyul exhales shakily as he looks up. Seungyoun looks dewy-eyed. Hangyul says: “Let’s kiss on it.”

Seungyoun smiles despondently and the two lean in. The kiss is short - they can’t risk it with so many people running around not far from them. When Seungyoun breaks it off first, Hangyul pulls him back in, but this time for a hug. He wraps his arms tightly around Seungyoun’s frame and rests his chin on his shoulder. A second later he feels arms circle him as well.

Seungyoun relaxes slightly and presses his temple to Hangyul’s. For a few stolen moments, Hangyul feels safe.

In the distance, they hear the producer yell it’s time to make their way up. The two separate, except Seungyoun squeezes Hangyul’s hand one more time and lets go.

* * *

Hangyul hasn’t felt his legs in hours. 

He thought this would be the case. But because of different reasons. Not because he got, out of nowhere, called to the sofas. Not at all. He thought they would ache just like his heart from standing on that damn platform for hours straight, watching people he loved achieve their dreams.

He was so happy for all of them. He _is_ happy for all of them. His heart was ready to give them all the love and he sent each of them off to the sofas with congratulatory words. And then he ended up greeting them with congratulatory words. 

When Seungyoun’s name came out of Lee Dongwook’s microphone, Hangyul thought the universe was playing a big joke on him. He was convinced he was still dreaming, that he was stuck in a very detailed lucid dream. 

Later, in a random room backstage where the staff shuffled them off, all his members were crying and hugging and laughing. Family members slowly joined the room. 

The room was steadily growing more and more stuffy with the arrival of each new person, but the moment Hangyul’s mom entered, he knew. He was across the room, stuck in a corner with Hyeongjun happily weeping into his shoulder. 

“I’m so happy you made it! I’m so happy!” Hyeongjun sobbed, clutching Hangyul’s blue blazer with his fists. He had been repeating the same line with just about every member he came across. 

Then, Hangyul sensed that familiar smell of his mother. He had smelled that perfume of hers ever since he entered school and until he left home for Seoul. He took one look at disheveled Hyeongjun in his arms and then noticed Yohan approaching them.

“Hey, Yohan, I gotta greet my mom,” Hangyul told him when Yohan was within range and vaguely gestured at Hyeongjun’s crying form. “Help,” he mouthed at him.

Yohan, with dried tears on his cheeks, gladly collected Hyeongjun in his arms and hugged him. “Hyeongjun!” he exclaimed, rubbing his cheeks into Hyeongjun’s curls.

“Yohan!” Hyeongjun cried. “I’m so glad you made it! I’m so happy!” Hyeongjun threw his arms around Yohan and proceeded to cry some more.

Hangyul smiled fondly at the exchange before he made his way through the crowd to finally see his mom for the first time in a while. When he reached her, he saw that she was talking to Seungyoun and… Seungyoun’s mother? Judging by the similarity in their faces.

Hangyul knows moments like these are usually when his legs turn to jello and when that doesn’t happen, Hangyul realizes he still doesn’t feel his legs.

He cautiously comes closer, trying to assess the situation. By the time he comes within arm’s distance, all three of them burst into laughter. Hangyul doesn’t even have to guess who induced that.

Then, his mother spots him out of the corner of her eye. “Oh!” she exclaims and throws her arms around him. He crouches down so she can embrace him fully. “I’m so proud of you! I knew you’d make it! I knew it!”

Hangyul hugs her back tightly. It’s been a long while since they’ve last seen each other. They spoke a few times a week, but it’s simply not the same. “Thank you, mom!”

She lets go of him and lets her hands fall down his arms. She grabs his biceps and forearms and furrows her eyebrows. “You’ve gotten skinnier?”

“I miss your cooking,” Hangyul replies cheekily. Complimenting his mother’s cooking has always gotten him good points in being a good son department.

His mother swats his arm lightly. “You’re too sweet. I’m glad you came out of this unhurt. Right?”

Hangyul quickly glances at Seungyoun who’s chatting with his mom across them. “Right,” Hangyul confirms and smiles for extra measure. 

Just then, Seungyoun looks up from his mother and meets Hangyul’s eyes. His grin spreads even wider, Hangyul can see his gums. Then, he reaches out and pulls Hangyul into a hug.

“We made it!” Seungyoun exclaims as they’re locked in an embrace. Then, he whispers, just so Hangyul can hear. “Should we tell them?”

Hangyul pulls back a bit perplexed before his brain catches up. Seungyoun’s asking whether they should tell their moms? It’s been a little over a month since they started dating. Then again, they were both head over heels in love for months so it’s not that new of a thing. And they’ve got five years to spend together. All in all, Seungyoun and him have a lot to talk about, but he needs to make a decision now.

Hangyul’s mom always urged him to live his life to the fullest which meant nagging him every now and then that it’s embarrassing for her as a mother to have a handsome son and no potential daughter or son-in-law in sight. 

“Everyone can see you’re an eye candy,” his mother would always tell him during supper.

“Please don’t call me an eye candy,” Hangyul scowled.

“Now everyone’s theory is that you’re stupid,” his mom would continue.

Hangyul would sigh and eat his soup in peace.

Hangyul nods at Seungyoun. 

Seungyoun clears his throat as he steps away from Hangyul. He puts his arm behind his mother’s back and gestures towards Hangyul. “Mom, this is Hangyul.”

“Ah! The very flirty guy you told me about, right?” Seungyoun’s mother says with a smile and offers her hand to Hangyul.

It takes every fiber in Hangyul’s being to stop himself from bursting into laughter. He only shoots a quick look at flustered Seungyoun and shakes his mother’s hand. “Pleasure to meet you, ma’am.”

Hangyul turns to his mom. “Mom, this is Seungyoun,” he tells her and awkwardly points at Seungyoun. He realizes he has never introduced his mother to any of his romantic interests. He’s had a few, but they were never the type Hangyul was eager to introduce to his family.

“Yeah, we’ve just met!” Hangyul’s mom says but pulls Seungyoun into a hug anyway. “Such a handsome man!”

Hangyul shifts on his feet. That he still can’t feel.

“So, uh, the two of us are… dating,” Seungyoun proclaims, his eyes shifting from his mother’s to Hangyul to Hangyul’s mom. Hangyul’s eyes jump from one woman to another as well, but all he can think about is whether he should grab Seungyoun’s hand or that would be too sappy.

His mind wanders far too often when he’s in a serious situation.

Both women break into smiles as soon as the words reach them. 

“That’s great! Good for you two!” Seungyoun’s mom says and leans in to squeeze Hangyul’s forearm. Hangyul, at a loss of words, makes himself smile back at her. “I’m glad you have each other now.”

“My son is not an idiot,” Hangyul’s mom exhales and pretends to wipe off sweat. “I knew he had both brains and beauty.”

“And a boyfriend!” Seungyoun’s mother adds and they both burst into giggles.

Seungyoun and Hangyul smile nervously as if they’re not sure if their eyes aren’t betraying them. Hangyul is still half-convinced he’s dreaming. Their relationship has gone into a whole new territory in a matter of a few hours and Hangyul desperately wants to discuss it with Seungyoun. Hell, his life has gone into a whole new territory he didn’t even allow himself to daydream about for months.

“When do you have to go back, mom?” Seungyoun asks once the mothers calm down. His cheeks are still slightly red, whether from fluster or the heat of the packed room.

“In an hour or so, I believe,” his mother replies while checking her wristwatch. “I have to drive back.”

“You came by car?” Seungyoun asks, bewildered. “And you’re going back? At this hour?”

His mother shakes her hand at him. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. I’ve done this plenty of times.”

Hangyul’s mother steps closer to them tactfully. “I don’t mean to meddle, but if you’d like, I have a spare bedroom here in Incheon. It’s not that far away, it’s certainly a shorter drive.”

Seungyoun’s mother smiles and nods gaily. “Thank you so much!”

“Really, thank you,” Seungyoun adds too and grabs Hangyul’s mom’s hands to shake them in gratitude.

The quartet decides to find a place to sit down and they chat for a while. His new members come and go, all with tears in their eyes and down their cheeks and they greet their mothers and the duo. 

Sitting down helps Hangyul regain his sense of his legs. His injured ankle flares up as soon as he realizes that. When their mothers announce they have to leave, he stands up to send them away, but as soon as he does so, winces in pain. Unsurprisingly, the pain doesn’t go away with the words of debut, like he jokingly once thought. 

Their mothers don’t catch Hangyul’s pained expression, but Seungyoun does. He gives Hangyul a concerned look, but he can’t do more than that. He’s still a few feet apart and neither of them wants to exactly touch in front of their mothers. No matter how supportive they are. In an effort to alleviate Seungyoun’s worry, Hangyul smiles at him before turning to face his mother. 

Conveniently, the staff comes in to announce they should clear out the room and the whole building. They add that all the trainees would be taken back to their dorm for one final night. Tomorrow morning, they’re all moving out.

The two say goodbye to their mothers and stay in the room with their members, waiting for the staff to come to get them. 

Once it’s just the eleven of them left in the room, Hangyul turns to Seungyoun in an instant and rests his head on his shoulder. “Holy shit.”

Seungyoun wraps his arms around Hangyul’s tired body. “Tell me about it.”

“I might be dreaming. Tell me something I know I couldn’t think of on my own,” Hangyul asks him. A small part of him is afraid that his alarm will go off any second now. Or Seungyoun’s cold feet will jolt him awake. Or Dohyon’s shrieks will echo down the hallway and break his slumber. 

Seungyoun’s chuckle interrupts his stream of thought. “I have no clue, honestly.”

Hangyul raises his head to look at Seungyoun. “Speechless Seungyoun? I couldn’t have that in my wildest dreams.”

Seungyoun rolls his eyes with a wide smile. The kind of smile where Hangyul can see his gums again. Perhaps Hangyul’s favorite smile. “I can’t believe I have to listen to you for years now.”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s your funeral,” Hangyul replies, putting his head back. 

“And you put the fun in it,” Seungyoun whispers and kisses the top of Hangyul’s head.

* * *

Once they all reach the dorms one last time, Seungyoun and Hangyul go straight for the secluded practice room. They need to talk about them and make out without an audience. 

Seungwoo, however, stops them.

“Hey, I heard they removed the cameras from the dorm,” Seungwoo informs them and offers them a small smile.

The two beam at Seungwoo. “They did?”

Seungwoo nods, amused by their excitement. “Check it yourself if you don’t believe me.”

Seungyoun and Hangyul thank Seungwoo with a big hug and quickly walk to their room. They would run, but they’re both exhausted. Not to mention, Hangyul’s ankle has been screaming the entire night. Save for Hangyul’s wince earlier, he’s been good at concealing his pain from others. He wouldn’t want to dampen anyone’s mood.

In the room, they encounter Wooseok who’s slowly taking his stuff down from the top bunk. When he sees them, he gives them a tired smile.

“Hey, you two,” he says and plops down on the floor from the ladder. He folds a pillow and a blanket under his arms. “How are you doing?”

Seungyoun can’t contain his happiness so he smiles widely again, for the umpteenth time tonight. “Too good.”

Hangyul chuckles at Seungyoun and says: “Likewise.”

Wooseok offers them a small smile. Hangyul can tell he wants to celebrate his new debut, but Jinhyuk’s situation is holding him back. He reaches out and squeezes Wooseok’s shoulder.

“How are you?” Hangyul asks him.

Wooseok sighs heavily and his eyes lower. “I’m… conflicted.”

“That’s understandable. Come here,” Seungyoun says and steps out to hug the shorter one. Wooseok hugs him back and with a final pat on his shoulder, they break apart.

“Yeah, I’m gonna go and leave you two alone,” Wooseok tells them as his eyes switch from Seungyoun to Hangyul, still wearing an aggrieved expression. He then gestures towards the upper corners of the room. “The cameras are off.”

Seungyoun and Hangyul’s eyes widen, it managed to slip out of their minds. Then again, it’s been a long day. 

They both immediately look up. Something feels off in Hangyul’s stomach when he sees the empty space. He thinks a part of him is slowly starting to realize it is all over. All the trainees more or less packed in the morning which didn’t phase Hangyul since he was full of jitters, but now, reality is steadily crashing down on him.

“You don’t have to leave because of us, we’re not -” beside him, Seungyoun starts.

Wooseok shushes them with a brief wave of a hand. “I already told Jinhyuk I’d crash in his room, don’t worry. Go nuts. You deserve it.”

Seungyoun nods tentatively as he begins to blush. “Okay, then. See you in the morning.”

“Yeah, sleep well. You deserve it too,” Hangyul adds. He’d try to console Wooseok, but he’s been feeling out of his league with just about everything tonight.

Wooseok smiles again, but it is obvious it is forced. “Thank you. Good night,” and with that, he leaves the room with a pillow and an extra blanket under his arms.

“Poor thing,” Seungyoun sighs once Wooseok leaves. He drops down on the bed and exhales. Hangyul follows suit and rests his head on Seungyoun’s shoulder. A few seconds later, he feels Seungyoun stretch his arm over Hangyul’s back.

“This feels surreal,” Hangyul says, staring at nothing in particular. “I’m crazy tired, but I can’t stop thinking about this.”

“Same,” Seungyoun replies as he rubs his eyes with his free hand. Then, he pulls his other arm off of Hangyul and motions him to lie down. “Come on, let’s rest, we don’t have to sleep yet.”

Hangyul complies and scoots back towards the back of the bed where his usual spot is. He shifts around until his head finally hits the pillow. He exhales jadedly as his eyes on autopilot. He feels the mattress dip as Seungyoun makes himself comfortable as well.

Soon, he feels Seungyoun drape his arm over his body. A moment later, he presses his body to Hangyul’s back and sneaks an arm over him.

“God, you have big arms. I don’t think I can even envelop all of you,” Seungyoun laughs, struggling to find a position cozy enough for both of them.

“How about a compromise?” Hangyul offers and lifts his arm so Seungyoun can put his underneath it. Once they settle like that, their fingers intertwine.

They stay silent for a while, but neither of them falls asleep. They agreed earlier that they should talk about their relationship as soon as possible so they can focus on their debut preparations better, but at the moment, silence feels right.

“How’s your ankle?” Seungyoun asks quietly despite the fact they’re alone. 

“It’ll be fine,” Hangyul replies, almost on impulse. He’s become used to people asking him about his ankle.

“Are you sure?” Seungyoun prods further. “I noticed you were in pain earlier.”

“It flares up sometimes. I’ll get it checked out again this week,” Hangyul assures him by squeezing his hand.

“You better. They said we get a week off before preparations. I don’t want you to bust a single move during that time, you got it?” Seungyoun says, half demandingly, half pleadingly.

“I’ll probably be at home most of the time so you don’t have to worry about a thing,” Hangyul answers. He made endless plans with numerous people with the aim to get himself as distracted as possible from heartbreak. Well, he’s happy to say things didn’t go as planned.

“You plan on just staying here in Incheon then?” Seungyoun asks.

“Yeah, my family misses me. Mom already put together a menu of stuff she’s going to make me,” Hangyul laughs. She spent five minutes listing only things she was going to make him for breakfast. Hangyul had to stop her before she delved into lunch. “I’m going to come back with no abs.”

“Get rid of these biceps too so I can cuddle you like a proper boyfriend,” Seungyoun adds, but drops a quick kiss on his bicep.

“You just want to turn me into a twink, is that it?” Hangyul asks teasingly.

“Oh, my God,” Seungyoun chokes as he buries his head into Hangyul’s neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! 
> 
> I'm a few chapters ahead and if I finish the chapter I'm currently writing, I might post again in a few days. If not, I'll stick to my one-chapter-a-week schedule.
> 
> Stay safe and have a nice day!


	3. palm to palm, to the point of my heart bursting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Even though I miss you, I’m getting the hang of this phone call thing,” Seungyoun says one night. “Whenever you say something stupid, I can just hang up.”
> 
> Hangyul promptly hangs up on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I decided to upload the third chapter a few days early since it's shorter than the previous two and since I have a lot of time to write now that I'm stuck at home. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Hangyul’s days at home pass by in a blur. His mother cooks and cooks and cooks. Relatives come visit and friends drag him out to nearby cafes. His brothers still make him do chores. His pets insist they all sleep with him in his twin bed at night. 

He doesn’t even unpack when he comes home, he just grabs another suitcase and fills that one to the brim with whatever he was too embarrassed to bring on the show. That includes his onesie pajamas that he refused to bring despite his mother’s insistence. When his mother saw in one of the episodes that Jinhyuk had a onesie himself, Hangyul got an earful that very night. 

So he packed it and made sure she knew about it so she could finally let it go. 

All the members made a group chat soon after the final episode and Hangyul frequently uses the opportunity to ask everyone what they are taking to the dorm. He knows he’s going to regret not bringing something, but he isn’t sure what. His room has been emptied long ago when he moved to his first dorm and then to his first survival show and then back to his dorm and then again on his second show. He has done too much moving for someone who hasn’t reached twenty yet. 

“You’re annoying,” Seungyoun says during their phone call after Hangyul asks what everyone is packing for the fifth time that week. 

“Shut up,” Hangyul replies immediately. Then, he runs his hand over his face, frustrated. “I was hoping someone besides Junho was going to answer.”

“Yeah, that’s because everyone else already told you everything the first time you asked,” Seungyoun says matter-of-factly. 

“Including Junho,” Hangyul adds for extra measure.

“Including Junho,” Seungyoun repeats and chuckles.

All the members went home the morning after the final episode. Hangyul hoped he could take Seungyoun home just for a day if his mom still hadn’t left his house, but sadly she came to pick Seungyoun up first thing in the morning. Their only contact since has been over the phone.

And to Hangyul, it’s weird. He had Seungyoun by his side, or at least, near himself for four months and now he doesn’t. Before their short vacation, he didn’t call him once. It’s a surprise he even has Seungyoun’s number. Hearing Seungyoun’s voice over the phone each night is something different. 

“Even though I miss you, I’m getting the hang of this phone call thing,” Seungyoun says one night. “Whenever you say something stupid, I can just hang up.”

Hangyul promptly hangs up on him.

Seungyoun calls him again immediately and Hangyul pretends to be oh-so-hurt for all of ten seconds before they both burst into laughter.

After each call, Hangyul wonders if this is what their relationship would look like if either of them didn’t get the chance to debut. 

* * *

The two end up rooming together at their new dorm.

“That’s disgustingly cute,” Minhee says when Hangyul and Seungyoun win the biggest room with rock, paper, scissors. 

The two can only share a look of relief. 

They take the role of decorating their room very seriously. They sit down on one bed (they still haven’t decided who gets which one - it doesn’t even matter since they’ll probably share them) with a notepad and look around the room. It’s mostly empty - it has two beds, a dresser and a desk with a chair.

“We need way better lights than these,” Hangyul says, squinting at the overhead lamp. It flickers every few seconds or so. “For once my future is brighter than this.”

“You’re so corny,” Seungyoun snorts, but still bumps his shoulder against Hangyul’s. He lifts his head to peer at the lamp. “But you’re right, these lights are atrocious.”

“What’s your favorite color?” Hangyul asks him as he writes down ‘lights’ on the notepad.

Seungyoun pouts unconsciously as he gives it a thought. “I’d say… orange and blue.”

“I asked for one color,” Hangyul rolls his eyes in mock-annoyance. 

“And I gave you two to work with!” Seungyoun defends himself.

“Whatever. Since this light is so bad it’s practically orange, I say we get blue lights to kinda… set the mood for the room,” Hangyul says, aimlessly swinging his arms around. 

Seungyoun looks around the room in an attempt to picture Hangyul’s idea. He starts nodding slowly. “Alright, I kinda dig it.”

“Thank you, I was an interior designer in my past life,” Hangyul says with a teasing grin.

“And you’re a pain in the ass in this one,” Seungyoun says, but he still leans in to plop a kiss on Hangyul’s cheek. Hangyul lets it happen, but not without sporting a frown.

“Well, it takes one to know one,” Hangyul says back and blows a kiss at Seungyoun.

Seungyoun makes a face at Hangyul before he breaks into a huge smile. “I can’t even pretend I’m mad at you. I’m too excited.”

Hangyul smiles back. “You’re changing the subject because you know I’m right,” he says and leans in to kiss Seungyoun’s cheek like the older did earlier. Except Seungyoun reacts fast and turns his face so Hangyul’s lips land on Seungyoun’s.

The kiss lasts a second, if that, before Hangyul pulls back and pretends to wipe his lips.

“I outsmarted you,” Seungyoun tells him, smiling widely. 

“Such a pain in the ass,” Hangyul grins back, shoves away the notepad and the pen and puts both of his hands on Seungyoun’s face to kiss him properly.

Their planning doesn’t progress any further that day.

* * *

Before preparations take off rapidly, they get _the talk_ over with.

It’s 3 AM and they’re the only ones left in their practice room. They received the first dance lessons earlier and while the whole group did agree they should sleep on it and start fresh the next day, Hangyul insisted on learning the choreography so he could teach others later on. 

Seungyoun stayed behind so Hangyul wouldn’t have to go back home alone.

Seungwoo only gave them an exasperated look when the two announced their plan. 

Hours have gone by since they last saw their members. Seungyoun is catching his breath by the water dispenser while Hangyul is still mercilessly trying to polish his moves. They’ve got most of the choreography down and when Seungyoun decided to take a breather, he hoped Hangyul would follow suit, but alas.

“Hangyul,” Seungyoun begins as he cradles a plastic cup of water in his hands. 

“Five more minutes,” Hangyul mumbles, his eyes glued to the mirror in front of him. That’s been his answer to anything Seungyoun said in the last hour. Seungyoun’s starting to suspect Hangyul heard neither Seungyoun nor himself. 

“How about ten minutes?” Seungyoun replies.

“Five more minutes,” Hangyul mutters again as he lowers down onto his knees, staring at his reflection. Seungyoun knows for a fact they both got that move down. And now he also knows for a fact Hangyul is talking to him on autopilot.

“Wow, really? And then we finally leave?” Seungyoun says, testing how far he can keep this going without Hangyul noticing.

“Five more minutes,” Hangyul responds, of course. Seungyoun hopes Hangyul’s gotten out of his trance when he picks up the tablet, but instead the younger turns on _Flash_ and goes back to practicing. 

Seungyoun lets his head fall back in frustration. He puts the cup beside him and gets up to make his way towards Hangyul. Seungyoun could tell himself Hangyul doesn’t notice him approaching because of his long bangs that cover a good portion of his eyes, but he knows very well that’s not true. 

Before Hangyul has a chance to start flailing his limbs around, Seungyoun steps forward and envelopes him with his arms. Thankfully, the younger doesn’t fight it. 

“I don’t think that’s a part of the dance,” Hangyul exhales as he tries to recuperate. His bangs are completely stuck to his forehead and eyes, Seungyoun realizes.

“Oh no,” Seungyoun deadpans. “You better show me how it goes _once we get some sleep_.”

“I’m not that tired, actually,” Hangyul says as he wiggles his arms free from Seungyoun’s embrace. He brushes his bangs back, letting his forehead breathe too.

“Your eyes are literally bloodshot,” Seungyoun says, staring right at Hangyul. “Like, I can see blood in them as we speak.”

“That’s just how my eyes are?” Hangyul says slowly, shrugging at Seungyoun. He kneels to pick up the tablet and turn off the music. 

Seungyoun rolls his eyes in response. “What’s this about?”

“What do you mean?” 

Seungyoun motions towards Hangyul. “All of this. You’re acting as if we’re still on the show,” he tells him. “You can relax now. At least a little bit.”

Hangyul opens his mouth to say something, but Seungyoun pushes on. “You’ve mastered choreos in a week before. You have more time now. You can let loose a bit before you burn out.”

Hangyul shifts in his spot. He looks tired physically, but Seungyoun has noticed something else has been tormenting Hangyul. “I don’t think I’m ready enough. I don’t feel like it,” Hangyul confesses and sighs.

Seungyoun sighs as well. He’d be at ease because he’s got an answer to his question, but he’s familiar with the way Hangyul is feeling. It’s not a pleasant state in the slightest. 

“You won’t be ready at all if you hurt yourself right before we debut.” Seungyoun bumps his hand against Hangyul’s, inviting him to hold it. “Look, I know how this feels. It’s our second chance and we should be careful with it, but you should also be careful with yourself. Otherwise, you won’t get to enjoy it at all.”

Hangyul accepts Seungyoun’s hand. It’s sweaty, but neither of them cares. “I just… I don’t think I can rest when I know I could be here making sure I’m prepared.”

“Listen, your worries are outnumbered. Seungwoo and Wooseok, who are in the same shoes as the two of us, are back at the dorm sleeping, making sure they’re healthy enough to pull this off properly,” Seungyoun elaborates. He tugs Hangyul close. “Let’s go home, Hangyul. I could babble about this all night long and neither of us wants that.”

Hangyul lets a breathy laugh. “You really _can_ babble.”

Seungyoun starts to turn on his heel, slowly pulling Hangyul and himself towards the exit. “Come on now.”

Hangyul sighs, letting himself be dragged out. “Fine, you win.”

Seungyoun snorts. “We’re getting three hours of sleep, _maybe_ , I don't think anyone is a winner here,” he tells him and slings his arm around Hangyul’s shoulder as they proceed to leave. Right before the exit, Seungyoun grabs his backpack and flips the light off with his other hand. 

“You could have gone home, you know,” Hangyul replies as they make their way down a vacant hallway.

“I stayed so no one could abduct my very annoying boyfriend on his way home,” Seungyoun says cheekily.

“Aren’t you the sweetest,” Hangyul says and then clears his throat. “Speaking of boyfriends…”

Seungyoun catches on immediately. He’s been waiting for the right moment to bring the topic up. “Oh, right, we haven’t talked about us.”

Hangyul blinks at Seungyoun. “How can your brain work that fast this late at night? Are you a mind reader?”

Seungyoun winks at him. “You caught me.”

“Then tell me what I’m thinking right now,” Hangyul says as the both of them stop in their tracks. Usually, Seungyoun doesn’t like engaging in high jinks when he’s tired, but with Hangyul, they feel energizing instead of the opposite.

Seungyoun slips his arm off of Hangyul’s shoulder as the younger one crosses his arms and raises his eyebrow in expectation. 

Seungyoun furrows his brows and squints at Hangyul. He brings a hand up to his chin to really sell the act. “Hmm… you want to continue this as long as we’re both happy… and if somehow we don’t work out, we _don’t_ let things get awkward.”

Hangyul needs a second to react as he takes in Seungyoun’s words. With a slight delay, he nods feverishly. “I was thinking whether I should tell you that you have an eyelash on your cheek, but sure. You could interpret it that way too.”

Seungyoun quickly brushes his cheeks before he pokes Hangyul’s chest lightly. Hangyul catches Seungyoun’s hand and pulls him closer until their faces are inches apart. 

“I agree with everything you said,” Hangyul tells him, his tone earnest. “Also, let’s not fight in front of others. Or do any PDA. And no favoritism when it comes to games and such.”

Seungyoun nods sincerely, but as soon as he opens his mouth to reply, his attitude changes. “You’re just saying that because you want to beat my ass in Mario Kart without feeling bad,” he pouts.

“Exactly!” Hangyul exclaims. “Wow, you really can read minds.”

Seungyoun’s about to push Hangyul away, but the younger one wraps him with his arms, trapping him. Seungyoun huffs in frustration.

“You and your sexy biceps,” Seungyoun says, eyes dropping down to check them out despite his fussing. 

“Oh, and one more thing,” Hangyul begins and by the mischievous glint in his eyes, Seungyoun is not going to like it.

“What else? I have to wear socks to bed because of my cold feet?” Seungyoun asks with a scowl. A night doesn’t go by without Hangyul’s incessant complaints about Seungyoun and his ‘iceberg feet’. Most of the time Seungyoun tries to turn things around and set an alluring mood by saying something along the lines of “why don’t you try to warm me up then?”, but Hangyul’s response is always shoving a blanket between their feet. 

Hangyul pretends to consider the idea. “Actually - “

“I’m making you wear them too then!” Seungyoun quickly declares. 

Seungyoun reluctantly agreed to sleep with his bottoms on when Seungwoo announced nudity wasn’t allowed at any time until everyone was of age. Putting on socks before bed is straight up admitting defeat.

Hangyul laughs at Seungyoun’s uneasiness. “I just wanted to tell you still have that eyelash on your cheek.”

Seungyoun exhales irritatedly. “I don’t know what I saw in you,” he says as he struggles to free his arms from Hangyul.

“A very flirty guy, if I recall correctly,” Hangyul teases. He lets go of Seungyoun and calmly reaches to remove the eyelash himself. Seungyoun keeps himself steady but glares at the younger.

Once finished, Hangyul grabs Seungyoun's hand once again. “Let’s go, you’re getting cranky.”

The air outside is cold despite the fact they’re still in the thick of summer. Instead of holding hands, Hangyul locks their arms together so they can share body heat

“You know,” Hangyul starts as they walk the silent streets.

“Here we go again,” Seungyoun sighs. He shoots a pointed look at Hangyul. “We’re in the middle of a romantic walk, you better say something sappy.”

“You know,” Hangyul continues, pretending he didn’t hear Seungyoun. “For a guy who can allegedly read minds, you really judged me incorrectly.”

“I should have just let you get abducted,” Seungyoun groans. Still, he rests his head on Hangyul’s shoulder. 

* * *

Debut preparations keep them busy for weeks. Their interactions narrow down to them stumbling into the same bed at three in the morning each day and sleeping with arms purposelessly thrown around each other. They bicker during the day like usual and they share quick kisses when they can, but neither of their focus is on that at the moment. 

They try to discuss the lack of contact at first, but they fall asleep before they can tell each other that they understand. The next morning, Hangyul wakes up with his face in Seungyoun’s neck.

“We good?” Seungyoun mumbles, trying to pet Hangyul’s nape with his tired hand.

“We good,” Hangyul says into Seungyoun’s collarbone, still half-asleep.

Near the end of August, during the finishing touches of their debut preparations, they finally catch a break. It’s only for half a day and most of the members continue practicing, but Seungyoun drags Hangyul out before the younger hurts his ankle even more.

“I really want to perfect my performance, you know,” Hangyul complains as Seungyoun takes his hand in his and leads them down the hallway towards the exit. 

“It’s flawless already, trust me,” Seungyoun assures him and beams at him as they near the entrance door. “Maybe you’d see that if you put your glasses on for once.”

Hangyul frowns. “I can’t dance with my glasses on. And contact lenses irritate my eyes.”

Seungyoun shrugs nonchalantly. “I offered to tape the glasses to your head, but you refused. Can’t say I didn’t try to help.”

“Emphasis on ‘tried’,” Hangyul says, but squeezes Seungyoun’s hand in gratitude anyway. 

Seungyoun smiles at him. “Can I try to take you on a date, too?”

Hangyul looks taken aback. “Our first date?”

Seungyoun stops in his tracks. Hangyul lightly runs into him as a result. “We’ve never been on a date before?”

Hangyul shakes his head slowly. “I don’t think we ever had the chance to?”

Seungyoun’s mouth drops. All he daydreamt about before they got together was taking Hangyul out on a super fun date and kissing him on top of a ferris wheel or under the cherry blossoms. He even made a list of potential date sites in his journal.

He grabs Hangyul’s other hand with his. “We are going to have the best first date in history,” Seungyoun says with such conviction in his voice that Hangyul has no other choice than to just nod his head.

“Lead the way,” Hangyul says and vaguely gestures towards the end of the hall. 

Seungyoun happily obliges and practically skips to the exit with Hangyul in tow.

* * *

Seungyoun takes Hangyul to the supermarket and tells him to grab whatever he wants. While Hangyul is thoroughly assessing each food label, Seungyoun realizes that he can’t take Hangyul out and parade him around. They’d get recognised for sure. He doesn’t know why he even thought it would be possible to do that in the first place. Hangyul really makes him stupid.

Instead, he figures eating with Hangyul alone would be the best date for them, at the moment. So far, they only shared meals with other members around or with a camera in their face. Seungyoun just wants to spill sauce on his shirt and have Hangyul make fun of him, but quietly offer to wash it later on. Somehow clothes washed and ironed by Hangyul come back extra soft and with a nice smell. Lately, Seungyoun has started getting his clothes dirtier more often just so he could soon proudly say all of his clothes smell like Hangyul’s fabric softener.

Once Hangyul finishes selecting the very best snacks, Seungyoun pays the bill, much to Hangyul’s annoyance.

“Let me pay half, it’s _our_ date,” Hangyul insists as he carefully places each food article in a bag.

“You know it’s not a problem for me,” Seungyoun says as he gives the cashier his credit card. He glances at her before facing Hangyul, just in case she looks like she recognises them. Seungyoun did put on sunglasses that cover half of his face, a bucket hat, and a face mask, but you can never be too careful. Especially with Hangyul who concluded wearing a snapback was enough of a cover.

“Yeah, but it’s a problem for me,” Hangyul says, resembling a petulant child with his sullen face. 

“Thank you,” Seungyoun tells the cashier when she returns his card. When they exit the shop, Seungyoun continues their conversation.

“You can pay our next date if you’re so eager,” Seungyoun tells him. He goes to grab his hand, but he decides against it. They still haven’t revealed their relationship to the management, but Seungwoo told them to just keep it under wraps. They trusted Seungwoo’s judgment so, without hesitation, they followed his advice. 

“Bold of you to assume there will be a next date,” Hangyul huffs. Seungyoun knows he’s trying to appear cold and mean, but his cheeks are rosy because of the sun, he’s wearing Seungyoun’s T-shirt and the bag he’s carrying keeps brushing his leg and crinkling, killing his vibe completely.

“Did you get us anything sweet?” Seungyoun asks him. He’s using all of his willpower not to jump Hangyul in the middle of a street and plant a sloppy kiss on him.

Hangyul looks stupefied at Seungyoun’s sudden change of topic, but he replies still. “No, I took - “

“Good, ‘cuz you’re sweet enough,” Seungyoun adds immediately, grinning at him. Hangyul clenches his jaw to stop himself from smiling. He fails.

* * *

They drop several bags of rather unhealthy food in the middle of their room. Thankfully they didn’t run into Dohyon on their way to the room, otherwise, their snack collection would have halved in size.

“Is this step one of your plan to convince me to pursue a hermit life with you?” Hangyul says when Seungyoun sits him down on one of the beds and goes to lock the door.

Seungyoun snorts. “If you’re up for it, I can arrange a few things.”

“Let’s live like this for a few hours only,” Hangyul replies, looking over their stash of food. “I like trying out different lifestyles.”

“Which lifestyle is next on your list?” Seungyoun asks him as he makes his way back towards Hangyul.

Hangyul ponders for a moment. “The one where I perfect my performance.”

Seungyoun groans and purposely drapes his body over Hangyul’s, forcing them both to lie down. Seungyoun, now on top of Hangyul, begins dropping random kisses over Hangyul’s face.

“You’re,” forehead kiss. “amazing,” nose kiss. “at,” chin kiss. “the,” cheek kiss. “dance,” eyebrow kiss. “already,” lips kiss. 

Hangyul kisses back immediately. The kiss lasts for a while, long enough for Hangyul to turn on the side, sending Seungyoun sliding off Hangyul and on his side. Seungyoun yelps in response, but hurriedly returns to kissing Hangyul.

“I like this date,” Hangyul says when they break apart, slightly breathless. 

“So you’re into the bare minimum? Noted.” Seungyoun nods.

Hangyul swats his chest. “Stop it, you’re not the bare minimum,” Hangyul tells Seungyoun. “You’re _very_ high maintenance, you can’t be.”

Seungyoun scoffs. “I’d call you high maintenance as well, but you’re too short to qualify.”

Hangyul laughs so hard he spits on Seungyoun. The older can’t decipher whether it’s intentional or an accident. Before he can think about it more, Hangyul says, grinning: ”I’m going to knee you and that’s the most action you’re getting today.”

“Good thing some of us like it rough, buddy,” Seungyoun replies, winking.

Hangyul snorts. “Yeah, right, I can’t even give you a hickey without you squirming the entire time.”

“It tickles!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! Leave kudos or comments if you like, I love reading them. The next chapter is coming on Tuesday!


	4. do you know the most beautiful and wonderful words?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He grabs Hangyul’s collar and almost hisses through his teeth. “You drive me crazy.”
> 
> “Good thing I have a driver’s license,” Hangyul says, grinning shamelessly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's yet another fluffy chapter! I hope you like it!

The day of their debut reminds Hangyul of the day of the finale. He’s nervous just like then and Seungyoun can’t stop rubbing his hand, but the overall atmosphere is slightly different. He can’t pinpoint what exactly is different, but he tries to convince himself that being preoccupied with this dilemma shouldn’t be his priority at the moment.

They’re backstage yet again, waiting for someone to tell them to climb the stairs and face the biggest crowd any of them have ever witnessed. 

Despite being a nervous wreck himself, Seungyoun persists in keeping the mood as light as possible. He spews out a joke after a joke, but his thumb that’s currently digging into Hangyul’s hand tells a different story.

Seungwoo is sitting next to Hangyul, constantly counting and recounting everyone as they come and go. Dongpyo and Dohyon are sitting on the floor, their backs resting on Seungwoo’s and Hangyul’s knees. In front of them, Wooseok is practicing the choreography. He keeps asking Hangyul whether he’s doing the moves right, but the younger keeps getting distracted by Seungyoun’s stories. 

Yohan is giggling in the back at something Seungyoun said while Minhee keeps whispering something that makes him laugh even harder. Junho joins Wooseok in practicing, but Seungyoun’s loud voice keeps diverting everyone’s attention. Hyeongjun and Eunsang have completely given up on doing anything productive and have been in stitches for the past fifteen minutes.

Eventually, Seungyoun has to stop making others laugh for the sake of their stamina. 

“My jaw hurts so much,” Hyeongjun says with a grin, clutching his stomach. His curls bounce as he giggles and Hangyul’s insides twist with delight. He’s adorable.

“Oh, you poor thing,” Wooseok coos as he approaches Hyeongjun. He gave up on brushing his moves up when he realized Hangyul was barely looking at him. Wooseok pinches Hyeongjun’s cheeks and hugs him. “You’re so cute.”

“This reminds me so much of the finale,” Seungyoun comments quietly so only Hangyul hears it.

“Same,” Hangyul replies. With the light mood Seungyoun set, Hangyul feels comfortable enough (and inspired) to dive into a harmless squabble with Seungyoun. That usually keeps everyone distracted for a few minutes. Hangyul looks at Seungyoun with a wicked smile tugging at his lips. Seungyoun catches it immediately.

“I just hope you won’t try to break up with me this time,” Hangyul says, quirking his eyebrows at the older one.

Seungyoun leans back, feigning exasperation. “I didn’t try to break up with you!” he exclaims, fortuitously directing everyone’s focus on them.

“You guys are breaking up?” Dohyon asks, already starting to sulk. Next to him, Dongpyo gasps.

“Dohyon, I wouldn’t be letting him burn a hole in my hand with his thumb if we were breaking up,” Hangyul answers, raising their joined hands to prove it. With his free hand, Hangyul reaches down to lightly pat Dohyon’s head. “Don’t worry, we’re just joking around.”

Dohyon visibly relaxes even though he smacks Hangyul’s hand away. 

Wooseok comes closer with Hyeongjun still bunched up in his embrace. “Did I hear ‘try’ to break with Hangyul?” he asks slyly. “Seungyoun, I thought you were an all-rounder and yet you can’t even break up with someone?”

Seungyoun rolls his eyes. “What can I say, I have a weak spot.”

A chorus of ‘awwwww’ rings out after his words. Hangyul prays to every god out there that his foundation is thick enough to hide his blushing cheeks. 

Once the commotion disperses, Hangyul turns to Seungyoun. “Don’t worry, Seungyoun, I’ll show you how to break up with someone. Here I go!” he says and straightens his posture in an attempt to look as if he’s preparing.

“Shut up,” Seungyoun utters, breaking their intertwined hands to shut Hangyul’s mouth jokingly. Behind Seungyoun’s hand, Hangyul murmurs something. Seungyoun removes it to let him speak. “What?”

“I said, finally my hand is free!” Hangyul says, waving his reddened hand in Seungyoun’s direction.

Before Seungyoun can retort anything, Dohyon interjects. “Can you two please stop joking about this, I’m sweating bullets.”

“I second that, I can’t have you break up right before our debut stage,” Seungwoo adds beside them. “I’ll look like a terrible leader.”

“And the make-up artist will be angry if she sees they ruined their make-up with sweat,” Dongpyo butts in, throwing a glimpse at both Seungwoo and Dohyon with a disgusted expression.

“You don’t have to worry about anything,” Hangyul reassures them. “If we’re ever going to break up, it’s going to be in a dark cold hallway where no one can see us.” Hangyul turns to shoot a pointed look at Seungyoun.

“I’m going to - “ Seungyoun begins agitatedly, however, Dohyon interrupts, again.

“If you say ‘break up with you’, I’m going to screech,” Dohyon threatens, turning in his seat to glare at Hangyul and Seungyoun. Dongpyo gets up at the speed of light.

“I can’t lose my hearing right before debut,” he says, moving to stand a few feet away. Even Seungwoo scoots a little further away.

“I really feel like we’re missing a good chunk of the story here,” Wooseok appears again, still dragging Hyeongjun around. The younger one doesn’t seem to mind at all.

Hangyul sighs. “There is no story. Seungyoun only tried to break up with me on the day of the finale in a hallway.”

Seungyoun purses his lips. “I dragged you there to kiss you!”

“Ew,” Minhee comments from somewhere.

“Before trying to break up with me,” Hangyul adds calmly. He doesn’t know why he suddenly wants to ruffle Seungyoun’s feathers more and more, but at least no one is no longer nervous. Except maybe Seungwoo and Dohyon. But he’s still got the majority too intrigued to be anxious.

“I see why you two are a great match, but at the same time…” Yohan trails off, looking at them with narrowed eyes.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you kiss,” Junho remarks. Beside him, Eunsang scrunches his nose.

Seungyoun, still worked up from Hangyul’s jabs, asks: ”You guys want to see a kiss?”

“Not really,” Minhee replies from behind them. “I’m sure there’s a dark hallway here somewhere, though.”

“You want him to break up with me there, Minhee?” Hangyul inquires, shooting Seungyoun a playful wink. 

“Minhee, _shut up_ ,” Dohyon whines, swinging his arms around angrily.

“Yeah, Minhee, some of us treasure our hearing,” Dongpyo adds and takes a step back from Dohyon. 

Seungwoo stands up. For a moment, Hangyul thinks he’s going to go stand next to Dongpyo to protect his ears from Dohyon.

“Okay, let’s settle this before someone loses their mind,” he says and looks straight at Dohyon. The younger one shrugs his shoulders in response. He turns to look at Hangyul and Seungyoun next. “You two, kiss,” he says, pointing his finger at them.

A lot is said in the next second. 

Wooseok whistles and says: “Kinky.”

Seungwoo can’t even reprimand him before Minhee starts to complain. “Can I look away, otherwise I won’t be able to make eye contact with either of them for a week?”

Dohyon gets up and hugs Seungwoo, knocking the air out of him. “Thank you!”

“Do we get a say in this?” Seungyoun tries to sound loud enough to prevail over others' voices.

“Someone cover Hyeongjun’s eyes, I want him to stay innocent,” Yohan says, already making his way towards the boy in question. Wooseok slaps Yohan’s prying hands away before he even gets a chance to touch Hyeongjun’s face. 

In all that clamor, Hangyul leans in to whisper in Seungyoun’s ear. “Kiss me while no one’s paying attention.”

It doesn’t take long for Seungyoun to oblige. He grabs Hangyul’s collar and almost hisses through his teeth. “You drive me crazy.”

“Good thing I have a driver’s license,” Hangyul says, grinning shamelessly. Seungyoun groans before surging forward.

They don’t break apart until everyone is silent around them which takes several seconds. When they look around, most of them look taken aback. The exceptions are Minhee who looks revolted and Wooseok who’s impressed. 

Seungyoun wipes his lips. “Hangyul, I thought your mouth was dry when you’re nervous?”

Minhee squawks.”That’s it, I’m out,” he throws his arms in the air and walks away. 

Seungwoo clears his throat unwieldy. “Right. Okay. Remind me to hold Sex Ed once we find some time.”

“Spin The Bottle will suffice,” Wooseok says offhandedly.

* * *

A few days after their debut, Hangyul starts dodging Seungyoun’s affection. He still talks to him and they still bicker, but whenever Seungyoun reaches out to touch Hangyul or kiss him, the younger one eludes him. 

Hangyul knows exactly what he's doing and in order to not have Seungyoun completely freak out, he keeps conversations between them as normal as possible. 

Seungyoun makes it a few hours before he almost has a meltdown as they’re getting ready for bed. What prompts it is Hangyul putting sheets on the second bed in their room that they’ve never used. They’ve always shared one bed.

“Oh, is Dohyon sleeping over?” Seungyoun asks as he stretches his arms. He always likes to stretch before bed. Minhee once caught him doing that, saw both him and Hangyul in their boxers, assumed the worst and fled the scene. It took a week to get him to even face their direction.

“Nope,” Hangyul answers briefly. 

“Dongpyo then?” Seungyoun asks further as he bends down to touch his toes. With Seungyoun’s ass literally directed at him, Hangyul has to forcibly dispel any doubts he has about his little prank.

“Nope again,” Hangyul replies, shoving the sheet in one corner. Turning his back completely to Seungyoun not only helps him keep his eyes on the prize but also adds credibility to his act of a pissed-off boyfriend.

Seungyoun sits on the floor to do a split. “Yohan? Did Dongpyo finally kick him out? I told Yohan he has to stop teasing - “

“Nope,” Hangyul interjects. He turns around to face Seungyoun who’s on the floor, successfully doing a split. Hangyul clenches his jaw at the sight. Seungyoun’s stretching has led to many bed-squeaking activities before and yet each time Hangyul sees Seungyoun casually place his limbs wherever he pleases, Hangyul is seduced all over again. 

“Could you hand me my pillow, it’s right behind you on the bed,” Hangyul says, doing his best to keep his voice as steady as possible. 

“Yeah, of course,” Seungyoun says and leans back to blindly grab the pillow.

“A little to the left… yup, that's it!” Hangyul says. Seungyoun hands him the pillow which Hangyul gently drops onto the second bed. 

“Wait, what are you doing?” Seungyoun squints at Hangyul. He starts to get up, finishing his stretching routine. Hangyul feels relieved. At least now he can focus.

“I’m sleeping here tonight,” Hangyul says simply, turning his back to Seungyoun to adjust the blanket on the bed. It takes Seungyoun a few seconds before he reacts.

“Okay, what’s wrong?” Seungyoun asks, his voice sounding pleading right off the bat. “You keep avoiding me physically. I don’t think I even kissed you today. Or touched you at all.”

Hangyul spins on his heel, just as he practiced in the bathroom prior to this. “You tell me, _co-worker_.”

Seungyoun blinks at him. “Are we… role-playing?”

Hangyul grimaces. “What? No. Think harder,” he beckons him with his hands.

“Harder? Are you sure - “

Hangyul rolls his eyes and pulls his phone out of his pajama pockets. “I don’t know why I thought you’d remember,” he murmurs, speedily scrolling down his phone. 

“Remember? What did I forget?” Seungyoun asks, puzzled. 

It takes a few seconds before Hangyul finds what he’s looking for. When he does, he immediately hands his phone to Seungyoun. “ _So_ , if I’m not mistaken, both of us got these post-it notes with questions at a fan sign this morning. You know, what’s Hangyul to Seungyoun and stuff like that.”

Seungyoun looks at the content on Hangyul’s phone. His face lights up. “Oh, I remember that now!”

“Good for you, _anyway_ , I checked off each box because I _mean_ it,” Hangyul retorts and leans in to swipe a picture on his phone. “See, I said you were my co-worker, as you are. My person? Okay, honestly didn’t know what that meant, but I dig it. I also wrote that you’re my roommate,” Hangyul swings his arms around at the room to prove it. “And I wrote you’re my lover.”

Seungyoun gulps. “Well.”

Hangyul proceeds by swiping another picture. “ _You_ , on the other hand, only ticked ‘co-worker’ for me.”

Hangyul leans back on his feet and crosses his arms, looking at Seungyoun expectantly. By this point, Seungyoun should be on his knees, begging for forgiveness. However, judging by the fact Hangyul could lose his cool at the sight of Seungyoun’s ass, maybe having Seungyoun on his knees isn’t such a good idea?

Thankfully, Seungyoun only stares back at him. “You deprived me of kissing you because of this?”

Hangyul scoffs. “Co-workers don’t kiss, Seungyoun,” he says his well-practiced line. He thought of it himself.

Seungyoun rolls his eyes. “You’re so annoying,” he says and reaches out to Hangyul. Hangyul lifts his hands away. 

“A-a!” Hangyul exclaims, stepping back. “Let’s keep this professional.”

“I was going to slip your phone back into your pocket, come here,” Seungyoun says, waving Hangyul’s phone at him.

“Why, so you could pretend I’m happy to see you?” Hangyul replies, but inches closer nonetheless. “Because I’m not!”

Seungyoun, clearly impatient, grabs Hangyul’s arm and tugs him closer. He slides Hangyul’s phone in his pocket like he said he would, but he quickly snakes his arms around the younger one. Hangyul melts into it which is the opposite of what he had planned, but with the way he feels secure in Seungyoun’s hold, he doesn’t care anymore. 

“I’m sorry I said you were my co-worker, it won’t happen again,” Seungyoun says and hooks his chin on Hangyul’s shoulder. “Now please stop pretending you’re mad at me when I know you aren’t and let me kiss you.”

Hangyul gently pushes Seungyoun’s shoulder back to face him. “How do you know I’m not actually mad?”

He needs it for future pranks.

Seungyoun chuckles. “Well, for one, this is ridiculous and I know you’re not the type to get worked up around these things. And two, you pout when you get mad.”

“I pout?” Hangyul asks, surprised. He pouts?

“Yup!” Seungyoun says and pecks his lips.

Hangyul laughs. “Fine, you got me. I just wanted to play a joke on you,” Hangyul says, giving Seungyoun a forced sweet innocent smile. “Won’t happen again.”

“I’m going to pretend I do not see right through that fake smile,” Seungyoun rolls his eyes and leans in for a kiss.

Later, Seungyoun absolutely insists they make up for all the kissing they missed during the day which means they spend a good hour making out. Most of it is done in their bed behind locked doors for the sake of absolutely everyone.

“Okay, enough, my mouth is sore,” Hangyul exhales and leans back on his pillow that he returned to their bed once again. 

They lie in silence for a few minutes.

Seungyoun breaks it with a sentence Hangyul did not expect so soon. 

“You know I love you, right?” Seungyoun whispers as he absentmindedly strokes Hangyul’s hair. Hangyul is lying on his back and Seungyoun’s curled up next to him, one hand tangled Hangyul’s hair and the other one poking Hangyul’s abs every now and then.

“Um. No. What?” Hangyul chokes on his saliva. They turned off the bedside lamp when they started catching up with their kissing, just in case one of the members walked in on them somehow. Hangyul turns it back on.

Seungyoun looks up timidly. “I mean, I know it’s still kinda soon for this, but I just wanted you to know.”

He looks sheepish, especially with the faint glow of the lamp illuminating his face. 

“I love you, too,” Hangyul tells him quickly before Seungyoun dives into another nervous chatter. He shakily lifts his hand to his chest to feel his beating heart. “Oh, wow, I don’t think I ever felt this nervous around you.”

Seungyoun slides his hand up Hangyul’s chest to interlock their hands. Then, he releases a large exhale. “Holy shit, I’ve been holding this in since, like, July.”

“It’s still August, you drama queen, it’s not that long,” Hangyul snorts. Then, he uses his free hand to snuggle Seungyoun closer. “But I get it. I wanted to tell you sooner, but I was afraid I’d freak you out.”

“Okay, from now on, we tell each other everything, no matter how big or small,” Seungyoun announces and presses a kiss to their joined hands. 

“So if I asked you to marry me and have kids with me, you wouldn’t freak out?” Hangyul blurts, surprising both of them. He doesn’t know where that came from. He hasn’t thought that far into the future in a while. 

“Okay, wild,” Seungyoun replies, giving Hangyul a bewildered look. “I’d say ask me again in five years.”

Hangyul nods satisfactorily. “That’s fair.”

They fall silent again, but both of them are still riding the high of the previous moment. Hangyul has a million thoughts running through his head and he doesn’t doubt Seungyoun is the same. Does he really see himself with Seungyoun in five years? They’re doing great now, they haven’t had a single fight so far (“I think you guys have fights, but you spread it throughout the day in the form of neverending bickering.” Yohan told them once. Hangyul has yet to decide whether Yohan is onto something.) and they talk about their differences and worries all the time. Sometimes Hangyul worries they’re still in their honeymoon phase, but he’s also heard that phase never happens for some. Who bickers in their honeymoon phase?

He doesn’t see what could potentially end their relationship except falling out of love. Hangyul doesn’t think that’s in his control therefore why should he worry about it? At least that’s what his mom always says.

He gathers that he should enjoy his time with Seungyoun even if that time stretches over a few months or a lifetime. They’re too young and too busy with other matters to ponder over endless possibilities for their relationship.

Hangyul quietly turns off the lamp and kisses the top of Seungyoun’s head. 

“Are you going to sleep?” Seungyoun asks, lifting his head to peer at Hangyul. 

Hangyul shakes his head. “Nah, I’ll keep thinking about how happy I am to have you.”

Seungyoun blushes immediately, but to save face, he lifts his arm, pretending to look at a wristwatch. “Is it sappy o’clock already?”

Hangyul snorts and kicks Seungyoun’s foot with his under the duvet. “We both know you’re the lovey-dovey one here.”

“And then what are you in all of this?” Seungyoun asks, looking up at him with an expectant smile and pink cheeks.

“The lucky one,” Hangyul replies, smiling abashedly. 

“Aww, am I your prize?” Seungyoun inquires, blushing even more.

“Oh yeah, a real trophy wife,” Hangyul nods excitedly. Seungyoun kicks his foot back. 

* * *

The next day, Hangyul calls Seungyoun his co-worker when another fan asks him to choose.

Seungyoun finds out a few hours later when he’s curled up on Hangyul’s lap during their bus ride home. Hangyul dozes off right after Seungyoun nestles on him. At first, Seungyoun worries whether he’s too heavy on Hangyul, but the younger one insists he can handle it.

“You’re like a weighted blanket,” Hangyul murmurs with his eyes closed and head lolling back and forth as the bus moves.

“Dude, I think he called you fat,” Minhee says from the seat behind them.

“He’s thick and he knows it,” Hangyul replies before Seungyoun even gets to react. 

“Okay, TMI,” Minhee says as he pulls a face and puts his earphones on. He leans back in his seat. “I walked right into that one.”

Seungyoun smiles at the exchange and chooses to stay on his phone while Hangyul gets some sleep. It’s the quietest activity he can do while in Hangyul’s lap.

He’s scrolling down his phone when a photo of Hangyul’s post-it note crosses his timeline. He gasps immediately, waking Hangyul up.

“What’s this, _co-worker_?” Seungyoun asks as he shoves the phone at Hangyul’s face. The younger one squints as he tries to make sense of what Seungyoun’s showing him. When it clicks, he offers Seungyoun a devious smile. It doesn’t look as scheming as Hangyul wants since he has dried drool on his chin, but Seungyoun gets the gist of it.

Seungyoun whips his phone back and glares at Hangyul. “I’m going to deprive you of kisses for today. See how it feels.”

Hangyul laughs aloud and bounces his legs to have Seungyoun lose his balance for a moment. “Seungyoun, that means you’ll be deprived of kisses as well.”

Seungyoun narrows his eyes as his hands fly to Hangyul’s shoulders to keep himself steady. “Dammit, you’re right.”

Hangyul puts his arms around Seungyoun and pulls him closer. “Come here. Let’s call it even and put it behind us.”

Seungyoun pretends to begrudgingly obey, but the way he kisses Hangyul back doesn’t match his mood. Behind them, they hear Minhee turn the volume up even more on his phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this! Feel free to leave me comments, I love feedback, no matter if it's good or back.


	5. remember these footprints, remember this tremor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you want me to take you out?” Seungyoun asks as Hangyul dips him. That’s one of the things they haven’t had the chance to do.
> 
> “Like, with a gun?” Hangyul asks, perplexed as he lifts Seungyoun back to his eye-level.
> 
> Seungyoun snorts so loudly he almost loses his balance. Thankfully, Hangyul’s hands never abandon his waist so they keep him on his feet. “On a date, Hangyul.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even more fluff!! I think??

Somewhere in the middle of October, they get a free weekend. Although most of the members initially planned on meeting with their friends and family, by the time said weekend comes, the most they can do is walk to the bathroom and back.

Promotions have them drained so no one’s surprised to find the living room empty. Most of them stick to their rooms, occasionally leaving them to lie in other members’ beds. 

Seungyoun and Hangyul managed to find a way to balance Seungyoun’s laptop on their bodies and cuddle at the same time. It took half an hour to make it, but now they’re milking this achievement dry. They’ve binge-watched half of a drama by the time it’s lunchtime. 

Dohyon wants to join them at some point, but they sadly have to turn him down. 

“Dohyon, we literally cannot move,” Hangyul tells him, too afraid to even turn his head to face Dohyon’s sulky expression. 

Dohyon huffs disappointedly and leaves. He makes sure to stomp his feet extra hard so the two feel extra bad.

“We’ll have to make it up to him,” Seungyoun murmurs, falling for Dohyon’s masquerade. He can’t move his chin much, in case something moves, and their perfect laptop construction falls apart.

“I’ll buy him ramen, he’ll live,” Hangyul says unconcernedly. He’s immune to Dohyon’s false displays of hurt, but he usually plays along. His brain recognizes when Dohyon is fooling him, but his heart will always give in to whatever Dohyon wishes. It’s the fault of Dohyon’s chubby cheeks.

Hangyul slowly reaches across their bodies to push a button to continue the show. They’ve got half of the show to go and they’ve invested too much time and effort into their little construction to give up now. No matter how much they have to pee.

“Careful, careful,” Seungyoun murmurs, eyes intently watching Hangyul’s every move.

Hangyul gingerly pushes the button and their drama continues.

“I’d exhale, but I’m too scared,” Hangyul says, pulling his hand back at a very slow pace.

“I haven’t taken a full breath since this morning,” Seungyoun murmurs, his eyes jumping from the screen to Hangyul’s hand.

“I’ll give you mouth-to-mouth later,” Hangyul tells him, whispering. They’re at the stage where they believe too much volume might cause their construction to break down. “Now shut up.”

“Love you too,” Seungyoun murmurs back.

* * *

Shit hits the fan somewhere in November. So much happens and nothing happens. The company benches them until further notice and even though the entire group needs to take a breather, the lack of knowing what tomorrow brings keeps them on edge, not letting them relax. 

They take this opportunity to at least catch up with their friends and family, again. Who knows when their promotions will sweep them away once more? 

“I want to take you home with me,” Hangyul tells Seungyoun one day. They’re in their room, Seungyoun is at the desk composing while Hangyul is annoying him with whatever he can. “To meet my family and stuff.”

Seungyoun turns around in his spinny chair. He’s given up on getting anything done, but pretending he’s doing something makes him feel productive. “Okay, but we have to take my mom out for dinner first.” 

Seungyoun’s mother lives in Seoul while Hangyul’s family is situated in Incheon. It’s more logical to visit Seungyoun’s mother first since she’s only a few minutes away by car.

“Deal,” Hangyul says and offers his hand to Seungyoun. The older one eyes it suspiciously. 

“You’re going to pull me out of my seat, aren’t you?” Seungyoun asks, but before he can even finish his question, Hangyul does exactly as Seungyoun predicted. The older one sighs, but lets Hangyul steer his body however he pleases, as always. “Are you bored?”

“Obviously,” Hangyul says and twirls Seungyoun around as if they’re dancing. It’s only been a few days since their calendar has been vacant of schedules and yet Hangyul has run out of things to entertain himself with. He’s bothered every single member by now. 

He let himself be a canvas for Seungwoo’s potential tattoos. Washing off a myriad of scribbles from his body took longer than drawing them, but at least it helped time pass faster. He did zumba with Wooseok for a week straight every morning until the neighbors below them started complaining. Wooseok moved on to yoga and Hangyul has been eyeing him for a few days now. He will probably join him out of pure boredom soon yet again. He followed Yohan to his shopping trip for his sister’s birthday and even helped him wrap the gift. He was tempted to show up at the birthday party too. 

He helped Junho organise his sock collection _three times_. Junho couldn’t decide whether he wanted it in alphabetical order, rainbow order or comfort order. For the time being, he settled for alphabetical order.

Hangyul took Dongpyo to the dentist four times in a single week just because. Dongpyo had to get his braces replaced and Hangyul was happy to act as moral support and read random magazines the dentist’s waiting room provided. Reading all the magazines aimed at women helped him pick a gift for Yohan’s sister.

Hangyul happily drove Minhee to a florist shop and transported a huge ass plant back to the dorm. He even created a distraction for Seungwoo so Minhee could safely smuggle the thing in. So far, Seungwoo, who banned plants from the residence, hasn’t found the three feet tall plant that adorns one of the bedrooms.

He went macaron tasting with Eunsang to seven different macaron boutiques in a day. He had to sleep by the window that night because he felt so sick. He swore off macarons for good. Eunsang thought he was being overdramatic.

Hyeongjun expressed a desire to watch a horror movie in the cinema because he had never done so. Most of the members advised him against it since he can’t even handle thrillers on a small screen, let alone a horror movie on a big screen. Hangyul, with endless time to kill, gladly chaperoned him to the cinema and regretted it barely 15 minutes later. Hyeongjun got scared by the intro music and had to sleep in Seungyoun and Hangyul’s room for three nights until he had enough courage to go back to his room. The plant Minhee dragged to their shared room looked like a serial killer, according to Hyeongjun.

Dohyon insisted the movie couldn’t have been _that_ scary so Hangyul took him to see the same movie. Surprisingly, Dohyon saw the movie in its entirety and while he did occasionally flinch and grab Hangyul, he did quite alright. Hangyul, on the other hand, could barely wait for the movie to end. He clung to Seungyoun in his sleep for a few nights until the initial fear wore off. 

Even with Seungyoun, he has done many things. They’ve been marathoning movies ( _not_ horror movies for obvious reasons), playing games, composing, coming up with random choreographies, redecorating their room and whatnot. 

“Do you want me to take you out?” Seungyoun asks as Hangyul dips him. That’s one of the things they haven’t had the chance to do.

“Like, with a gun?” Hangyul asks, perplexed as he lifts Seungyoun back to his eye-level.

Seungyoun snorts so loudly he almost loses his balance. Thankfully, Hangyul’s hands never abandon his waist so they keep him on his feet. “On a _date_ , Hangyul.”

Hangyul grimaces. “Yikes, I really am stupid when I’m bored.”

“It really must have been looks that got me to like you,” Seungyoun whispers teasingly. Hangyul hits his forearm gently. 

“I thought it was my ‘very flirty’ personality,” Hangyul teases back. 

“I can’t wait to see your mother again and ask her whether she dropped you on your head when you were a kid,” Seungyoun retorts. Hangyul scowls.

“If she did, I wouldn’t have such a handsome face.”

“Eh,” Seungyoun shrugs, pretending to check Hangyul’s face out. “I mostly care about what’s from your neck down, really. If there was a version of you without that mouth of yours, I’d take it in a heartbeat.”

“Shut me up if you’re so bothered then,” Hangyul winks at him.

“I mean you leave me no choice,” Seungyoun says, cups his face and gets to it. 

* * *

Seungyoun wastes no time in scheduling the dinner with his mother. Hangyul doesn’t blame him, he’s itching to meet his family again as well. Still, he can’t help but feel incredibly nervous. He’s met the woman before and she seemed to be fond of him, but that was when they were all high on happiness and surrounded by a large number of people.

Dinner at her place is way more intimate. 

Seungyoun spends days ensuring Hangyul there’s nothing to be worried about, but the moment Hangyul mentions dragging Seungyoun all the way back to his hometown, his pupils dilate in fear.

Since Seungyoun’s mother has a place in Seoul, not far from their dorm actually, the two get ready at home. 

“I need you to dress me up,” Hangyul says to Seungyoun days earlier when the older one is lounging in the living room and Hangyul is turning his wardrobe upside down in their room.

“You know I prefer you naked,” Seungyoun responds, barely glancing in Hangyul’s direction as he solves his crossword. He bulk-bought them at a nearby kiosk after he saw a character do one in a drama Hangyul and he finished in a day.

“I’m literally right here,” Minhee says, sporting a grimace. 

“I’m talking about the dinner,” Hangyul continues, ignoring all six feet of Minhee that’s occupying the armchair beside him. 

“Just put on something casual, but formal,” Seungyoun replies, still not looking up from his crossword. He has his tongue out as he writes and in different circumstances, Hangyul would find it endearing. At the moment, however, he just wants to look as presentable as possible for Seungyoun’s mom. He assumes he left a good impression on her back in July, but if Seungyoun and him are in this for the long run, he needs to make sure the woman approves of their relationship. His least favorite dramas are the ones where the mother hates her son or daughter-in-law.

“I don’t know what that means,” Hangyul whines. He really doesn’t. “You know I’m useless when it comes to fashion.”

“Oh, we know,” Eunsang says as he passes the living room on his way to the kitchen. 

This prompts Seungyoun to slowly lower his crossword and look up. “Well, if Eunsang’s roasting you, it means it’s time to do something.”

Hangyul’s eyes widen in relief. He steps closer and goes to grab Seungyoun’s arm to help him get up, but Seungyoun pushes his hands away.

“One thing though, help me with this - I need 4 words, across, the question goes ‘tests similar to CAT scans’,” Seungyoun says while nibbling on the end of his pen. Hangyul scowls. He’s already using all of his brainpower on this date; he doesn’t have any left to spare.

“MRIs,” Dohyon quips in as he passes the living room, probably following Eunsang around again. 

“Thank you!” Seungyoun and Hangyul say at the same time. Again, in different circumstances, Hangyul’s heart would quiver. At the moment, the only thing quivering is _him_ in fear that Seungyoun’s mother will dislike him.

“Disgusting,” Minhee mutters, not raising his head from his phone.

“Come _on_ , I want this crisis to end,” Hangyul says and pulls Seungyoun off the couch. Seungyoun drops the crossword on the couch in process and lets Hangyul haul him to their room. They think they hear Minhee sigh in relief.

“I don’t know why you’re so nervous, she’s going to love you,” Seungyoun tells him on their way there. He’s been repeating that for a few days now, but it has stopped having a soothing effect on Hangyul long ago.

“I don’t know what you’ve told her about me, but I don’t trust it,” Hangyul answers, speeding their pace up. “Last time I heard, I was a ‘very flirty guy’.”

Seungyoun groans. “You need to latch onto a new thing.”

Hangyul hooks his arm around Seungyoun’s in response. “I will when you learn to read people.”

Before their same old quarrel can progress any further, they enter their room. Inside, the floor is hidden below every article of clothing both Hangyul and Seungyoun own. Hangyul went a little overboard.

Seungyoun stops in his tracks as his eyes land on the sight before him. “Hangyul, what the fuck.”

Hangyul drops his arm as he walks among the mess. “This means a lot to me and I don’t want to ruin it.” he justifies himself.

Seungyoun’s surprised expression falls in favor of an appreciative one. “I love you.”

Hangyul smiles on instinct upon hearing those words. “I love you too, but I promise I’ll love you even more if you help me select an outfit for the dinner.”

Seungyoun approaches the clutter warily. “I thought you already loved me the most.”

“Eh, there’s always room for improvement,” Hangyul says, winking at Seungyoun.

“There’s room for nothing in this mess,” Seungyoun says, gesturing at the clutter, but he returns the wink. Then, he clasps his hands together, startling the younger one. “Strip down.”

Hangyul blinks at him. “Huh?”

Seungyoun takes a step toward Hangyul, already reaching to unbutton Hangyul’s shirt. “I need to see what I’m working with.”

Hangyul lets him do as he pleases but doesn’t refrain from commenting. “You see it every night. And morning. And sometimes in the afternoon.”

“I have a short-term memory,” Seungyoun replies, quickly undressing Hangyul with his nimble fingers. Before Hangyul knows it, his torso is out in the open. Seungyoun ogles Hangyul’s abs without a drop of shame.

“Like what you see?” Hangyul asks as he flexes his muscles. Seungyoun visibly gulps.

“I’m going to write a song for these one day,” he says as he traces them with his index finger. He lets his finger slip down to Hangyul’s fly. Hangyul tries to maintain a neutral stance so he doesn’t suddenly end up with a situation in his pants, but since this is how every night plays out for them, it’s hard to resist familiarity.

“We should probably close the door before Minhee walks by and starts bleaching his eyes,” Hangyul suggests while Seungyoun undoes his fly with one hand. Seungyoun glances at the door behind them and sighs.

“If we scar Minhee one more time, we have to take everyone out to the cinema, right?” Seungyoun asks as he unenthusiastically tromps across the room to shut the door. Hangyul exhales slowly. How come he can never remember any anti-boner methods when he needs them?

“Don’t we get one more pass?” Hangyul inquires. Thinking about the kids is definitely a mood killer, right? Not that Hangyul dislikes their younger members, it’s just that he sees them as babies and would never associate them with any… explicit activities. He should stop thinking before he gives himself a headache. 

Seungyoun locks the door too, just to be safe. “I lost count long ago, I just let it happen at this point.” 

Since Minhee has an unfortunate tendency to always accidentally be in the epicenter of Hangyul’s and Seungyoun’s inappropriate ventures, Seungwoo made a rule that each time they traumatize Minhee (or anyone else, but mostly Minhee), they have to take the younger members off their hands for a day. The pair gets three passes since sometimes Minhee gets himself into these situations on his own, like the time he sleep-walked into their room while the two were about to get frisky.

Hangyul shrugs and proceeds to slip out of his pants. Thankfully, his ‘think about the kids’ technique proved feasible. “Let’s get this dress-up over with so we can make some use of that locked door,” Hangyul says and wiggles his eyebrows at Seungyoun. He obviously can’t stop his… titillating thoughts but only attempt to delay them.

“I like the way you think, but you can’t rush art,” Seungyoun replies, already making his way back to Hangyul. Hangyul would whine again, but he needs to preserve _some_ dignity.

“You just want me to be half-naked as long as possible,” Hangyul mumbles but strikes a pose nevertheless to help Seungyoun get inspired.

Seungyoun grabs Hangyul’s hand and spins him around, checking him out. “I’m not even going to deny that."

In actuality, Seungyoun doesn’t spend too much time composing an outfit for Hangyul. Within a few minutes, he has a white button-down, black jeans and pink cardigan in his arms. Hangyul examines it.

“Are you sure this will look good together?” Hangyul asks as he picks the jeans out of Seungyoun’s hold and slides his leg in.

“Positive,” Seungyoun replies. “The pink reminds me of your _Love Shot_ outfit. My mom said you were very handsome then.”

Hangyul almost trips as he slides his other leg in. “She knew me back then?”

Seungyoun scoffs. “I talked to her about you since we met. She always voted for you too.”

Hangyul feels blood pool in his cheeks. “You shouldn’t have told me that. Now I’m terrified of this dinner.”

“No, don’t be,” Seungyoun shifts the clothes in his one hand so he can touch Hangyul’s arm with his other one. “You guys will hit it off just fine. I’ll probably be your third-wheel by the time the main course is served.”

Hangyul’s eyes bulge out. “There are courses? Don’t tell me I have to learn how to use multiple spoons and forks?”

Seungyoun snorts at Hangyul’s remark. “I don’t know what you’ve been imagining, but I’m not bringing you to a mansion with a million butlers, but to her apartment where she’ll make us dinner herself.”

Hangyul stares at Seungyoun. “That’s quite intimate. I’m still terrified.”

Seungyoun rolls his eyes. “I’m not telling you anything anymore,” he hands him the button-down. “Put this on next.”

Hangyul obliges. In a minute, the outfit is complete. Seungyoun brings Hangyul to their full-length mirror. Hangyul can’t lie - he looks quite good. The black jeans make his legs look longer, the button-down is slightly tight on him, but the pink cardigan that covers it makes it look less… racy.

“Damn, you really have a good eye for this,” Hangyul says as he turns around, admiring Seungyoun’s craft.

“And a good mannequin to work with,” Seungyoun says and drops a quick kiss on Hangyul’s cheek. “Now take it off.”

Hangyul laughs at Seungyoun’s sudden change of tone. “Someone’s rather impatient,” he says as he works on undoing the buttons. 

“The door’s locked, the bed’s - “ Seungyoun glances at their bed. He scowls. “ - covered in clothes.”

“Clear the bed while I get out of this,” Hangyul motions towards the bed as he quickly slips the shirt and the cardigan off of himself at once. He throws the clothes over the mirror and starts working on his fly.

Seungyoun groans. “Let's just do it in the shower.”

“Last time that happened I got a cramp in my foot,” Hangyul says and takes the black pants off. “Hyeongjun asked me how I got it when he caught me limping and I had to lie to his face and tell him it was just one of those nocturnal leg cramps. He kept giving me his magnesium pills for weeks.”

Seungyoun grimaces. “Reminds of that one time I had a hickey on my neck and Minhee convinced him a vampire bit me.”

“He’s just so pure,” Hangyul says. Then, he strikes a pose. He’s finally in just his boxers. “Now let’s stop talking about him before we kill the mood.”

“You mentioned him first!” Seungyoun tells him but lets his eyes wander all over Hangyul, pausing for a second on Hangyul’s abdomen. “Though, as soon as I see that pack of yours, I forget about anything else.”

“Don’t forget to move the clothes off the bed,” Hangyul says and points towards the bed, hidden under piles of clothes. Before Seungyoun gets a chance to protest, Hangyul drags them both towards the bed. “I’ll be kind enough to help you.”

“You put them there yourself, I’m the kind one,” Seungyoun mumbles as he gently grabs heaps of clothes and drops them on the floor. Hangyul winces.

“I was thinking we’d just put them back into the closet, but wrinkling them all over again works too,” Hangyul comments and hesitantly copies Seungyoun.

“I thought you liked ironing,” Seungyoun replies and plops down onto the bed once the mass of clothes is cleared. He wraps his arms around Hangyul’s hips and brings him closer, so he stands between his knees.

“Hold your horses, stud,” Hangyul says, lightly pushing Seungyoun away. “There’s still some clothes left,” he says and dips his finger in Seungyoun’s T-shirt. Soon enough, Seungyoun gets wind of Hangyul’s words and pulls the shirt over his head in seconds. Without a pause, he unbuckles his belt and slips his jeans off.

Hangyul gapes at him. “I said ‘hold your horses’ and you sent them galloping instead.”

“What can I say,” Seungyoun says as he puts his hand on Hangyul’s nape and pulls him down. “My horses would like to go on a ride.”

* * *

The walk to the apartment of Hangyul’s current number one worry, also known as Seungyoun’s mother, is jittery. 

The sun has already set and Hangyul can see his breath when he exhales. Well, at least he can when Seungyoun and him first leave their dorm. Hangyul makes it barely two steps before Seungyoun pulls him back.

“Where’s your disguise?” Seungyoun asks him, half of his words muffled by the scarf he wrapped around the majority of his head. A little bit of his hair is peeking from it and if Hangyul’s nerves weren’t all over the place, he’d notice how adorable Seungyoun looks.

“It’s dark, we’ll be fine,” Hangyul responds, ready to continue their walk. He doesn’t want to be late. He calculated days in advance how long it would take them to get to the apartment. He asked Seungyoun too, but he delved into extra research just to make sure. 

“But I want to hold your hand,” Seungyoun snivels. Hangyul doesn’t even need to look whether he’s pouting or not - he is. 

“You’ll chafe it, I know you,” Hangyul replies and holds his own hand close as if Seungyoun’s going to steal it. “I moisturized three times a day to keep them soft just for your mom’s handshake.”

Seungyoun rolls his eyes. “First of all, _you’re_ the nervous one right now, not me. I’m not chafing a thing tonight,” Seungyoun counters and reaches out for Hangyul’s hand. The younger one reluctantly gives in. Seungyoun immediately intertwines their fingers. “And secondly, while I appreciate how seriously you’re taking this, you should also relax. It’s just my mom.”

“This is going to sound dramatic, but that last sentence sent a shiver down my spine,” Hangyul says and squeezes Seungyoun’s hand. He takes a look at the wristwatch on his other hand. “We should get going in the next twenty seconds otherwise we’ll be on time, but kinda _late_ on time, if you know what I mean.”

Seungyoun exhales in annoyance. “I don’t and don’t even bother explaining it to me,” he takes a face mask out of his coat pocket. Hangyul should have guessed he had a stack of those on him at all times. “Put this on and let’s go.”

Hangyul takes the mask and puts it on with one hand. “I hope it doesn’t ruin the outfit you worked hard over.”

“It’s your face that charmed my mom, not your fashion,” Seungyoun tells him.

“Good thing I wore a face mask two times a day this entire week,” Hangyul says, relieved.

Seungyoun groans. 

* * *

The walk to Seungyoun’s mother doesn’t take long. Hangyul’s constant fretting makes it go by faster. He frets about the pace of their walk, about the length it takes the traffic light to switch colors, about how he’s sweating under the mask Seungyoun gave him and how he just knows his BB cream is melting off.

Seungyoun just listens and nods, knowing this time tomorrow Hangyul will go back to his normal self and it will be Seungyoun’s turn to panic over their visit to Hangyul’s family. 

When they finally arrive in front of the apartment where Seungyoun’s mother resides, Hangyul tightly squeezes Seungyoun’s hand. 

Seungyoun yelps at Hangyul’s vice grip and tries to shake it off. “I won’t be able to hold a fork if you continue doing that.”

Hangyul eases his hold but doesn’t let go of his hand. “Sorry, I just realized I haven’t practiced knocking. I don’t know how I haven’t thought of that.”

“Knocking?” Seungyoun inquires. 

“Yeah, knocking on the door. Do I do it twice fast or three times slow or three times _fast_ \- “

Seungyoun reaches out at the wall next to Hangyul and presses the doorbell while staring at the younger.

“Ah,” Hangyul says and gulps.

Seungyoun squeezes his hand this time. “Again, _relax_ , everything’s going to be fine.”

Before Hangyul can think of a different thing to panic about, Seungyoun's mother answers the door, greets them with a wide smile and pulls them both into a hug. She gives each of them a big kiss on the cheek which would make Hangyul internally panic over his BB cream, but in this case, it’s a win in his book.

“My boys are here!” she exclaims while moving side to side, carrying the two of them with her. Hangyul’s heart swells at her words. This is a good sign, right?

She drags them to the dining room and that’s the moment when Hangyul realises how grateful he is that he asked Seungyoun to help him pick an outfit. He would've gotten the point way wrong.

The apartment is fancier than Hangyul anticipated - there's a huge chandelier hanging in the middle of the dining room, right above a small round table with obviously expensive cutlery already laid out. The chairs circling the table seem comfortable just by looking at them. The walls of the room are covered in high-quality paintings and ornaments. A door across from him appears to lead to the kitchen, judging by the smell that emanates from it. 

Hangyul feels Mrs. Cho wrap her fingers around his arm as she comes closer. “I called Seungyoun ahead and asked him what your favorite food is.”

Hangyul raises his eyebrows as he looks at Seungyoun. The older one just shrugs at him innocently. What did Seungyoun tell her? He hopes he said something fancy, Mrs. Cho can’t know he’s been living off of ramen like a broke college student.

Seungyoun’s mother sits the two of them down while she goes to get the food served. Both Seungyoun and Hangyul insist on helping, but she shushes them. 

Somehow, the dinner goes by in a flash. Hangyul has such a great time conversing with the woman that he doesn’t even have an opportunity to overthink his actions. Conversation flows naturally and a few times throughout the evening, Hangyul makes Mrs. Cho laugh. 

Once they’ve said their goodbye and Seungyoun and Hangyul are met with cold November air, Hangyul realizes he doesn’t remember anything from dinner. But he knows he had a great time. And he no longer feels weighed down by a hundred million and one worry.

Feeling light on his feet, Hangyul swings his arm and happily grabs Seungyoun’s arm as they make their way back to the dorm. Seungyoun chuckles at Hangyul’s carefreeness and interlocks their fingers together. 

“You had fun?” Seungyoun asks him with a smile tugging at his lips. His eyes glint as they pass street lights and window shops.

“I can’t remember a thing,” Hangyul says and laughs at both his own words and the absurdity of the situation. “Did she drug me?”

Seungyoun snorts. “ _Yes_ , my mom is actually a drug lord. I didn’t want to tell you earlier because you’d freak out.”

Hangyul gently smacks Seungyoun with his free hand. “Stop, I can’t believe I worried so much about something I ended up forgetting altogether.”

“I told you so!” Seungyoun replies. Then, he laughs. “Do you really not remember anything? You two got along like a house on fire.”

Hangyul shrugs helplessly. “Maybe it’s the adrenaline?”

Seungyoun snorts again but this time he stops in his tracks. “Adrenaline? I didn’t take you to a rollercoaster.”

“But it felt like one!” Hangyul exclaims defensively, swinging their joined hands back and forth. “Besides, you’ll see how it feels soon enough.”

Seungyoun pulls Hangyul’s hand so they continue walking. “That sounds like a threat.”

Hangyul hums. “My mom called today. She wants me home for my birthday.”

Seungyoun pouts. “I wanted you for myself on your birthday, but _fine_.”

Hangyul chuckles at Seungyoun’s moping tone. “We can celebrate together beforehand,” Hangyul tells him and then leans in so their shoulders brush together. “I’d like you for myself on my birthday as well.”

Seungyoun’s cheeks redden as he looks down on Hangyul’s face. “Good. I have the perfect plan already.”

Hangyul grins at that. “I love you.”

Seungyoun returns the smile and the sentiment. “I love you, too.”

They return home soon enough, both giddy with excitement. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this!! I will upload another chapter in a few days because it's shorter than the rest and then proceed with our regular one-chapter-a-week schedule :D
> 
> Have a nice day!


	6. a place that only I can go to

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yeah, what the fuck?” Yohan repeats, giving Seungyoun and Hangyul a surprised look. “Trouble in paradise?”
> 
> “Please, when have they ever behaved like paradise?” Wooseok snorts beside him. “Purgatory, more like.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I promised a few days ago, here's a shorter chapter! It's not as fluffy, but I really enjoyed writing it because I got to include the rest of Hyung line :D
> 
> Enjoy!

By a stroke of luck, all of the younger members end up going home on the same weekend. This means the remaining five can finally bring some alcohol into their dorm for the first time ever. Well, in a way.

When Seungwoo first banned alcohol in the residence, Hyeongjun worried that meant his shampoo which contained a bit of alcohol. Seungwoo had to clarify he meant edible alcohol. Then Junho had to ask about the white vinegar he brought along for his salads. Seungwoo had to further elaborate that he meant alcohol which could actually intoxicate you. Surprisingly, no one came up with a loophole for that.

Four months of sobriety flew by fast especially since promotions kept them busy for the most part. Now that not much is happening, most of the older members need something to help numb the pain of inactivity.

The moment the last underage member leaves with a heavy suitcase trailing behind, Seungwoo swings around from the front door and faces the rest of the members.

“Who’s going to the store with me?” he asks, looking at them with a wide smile. It’s the first time in weeks they’ve seen him genuinely smile. If it wasn’t for the fact they all equally want to drink their weight in booze, they’d suspect Seungwoo secretly dislikes their younger members. Which is ridiculous. Who could ever not go on a bundle on those kids?

All four of them volunteer, but in the end, Seungyoun protests that bringing Hangyul along would only slow them down.

“What the fuck?” Hangyul says, stunned by Seungyoun’s suggestion,

“Yeah, what the fuck?” Yohan repeats, giving them both a surprised look. “Trouble in paradise?”

“Please, when have they ever behaved like paradise?” Wooseok snorts beside him. “Purgatory, more like.”

“Hey, your room isn’t right next to theirs,” Seungwoo quips in and then looks down as if he’s recalling something. He shudders. “It’s paradise.”

Seungyoun raises his palms to silence them. “Hangyul’s going to take forever until he decides whether we should go with one type of beer or the other.”

Hangyul pouts and crosses his arms. He’s upset, but Seungyoun is right.

Nevertheless, he can’t keep his mouth shut. “My abs wouldn’t be here if it weren't for my careful consideration of each food element,” he says and points a finger at Seungyoun. “And I thought you liked my abs.”

Seungyoun rolls his eyes. “First of all, they’re not going to disappear because we accidentally picked a beer with one milligram more of sodium,” he tells Hangyul. “Second of all, there’s more to you than just your abs.”

“Okay, they’re getting sappy,” Wooseok says and grabs the keys off the counter. “Let’s leave before they start eating each other’s faces.”

Seungwoo nods apace and points at Hangyul. “Hangyul, you keep watch.”

“What? From who?” Hangyul asks, still bewildered by the situation.

Seungwoo shrugs as he puts on his coat. “I don’t know, make sure pigeons don’t shit the kitchen window sill, I cleaned it yesterday.”

Before Hangyul gets a chance to respond, Seungyoun leans in to peck his lips. Hangyul doesn’t get to dodge it in time. “Sorry, see you!”

And with that, the four of them leave without Hangyul.

Hangyul huffs angrily. He’d love to sulk around, but the bigger person in him makes him set the living room for whatever unhealthy drinks others will bring back. Pouting will only elongate his sobriety.

He grabs a couple of plastic cups, tupperware, and coasters and neatly arranges them on the coffee table. From his room, he takes a couple of small speakers Seungyoun and he got on sale a few weeks earlier. He places them around the room accordingly. Then, he opens their bathroom window and leans outside as far as possible to peer at the neighbor’s window. Judging by the lack of light and sound coming from them, Hangyul assumes they’re gone for the night. He and the members can party as loud as they like.

He puts a bucket near one of the couches just in case one of them takes it too far. He looks around, trying to figure out what else they’ll need. He has rarely been to get-togethers like these. He’s not that big of a fan of alcohol either. He’s never been good at opening wine bottles - he always spills it somewhere. And when he does get to drink it, he handles it poorly. But, the inertia has him trying out hobbies he already knows he isn’t crazy about.

Upon remembering all his incidents with alcohol, he realizes - they need bottle openers and napkins. Once he fetches those, he sits down and waits. 

Out of curiosity, he gets up to check on the window sill Seungwoo instructed him to guard. Lo and behold, two pigeons are perched on it, cooing. Hangyul bangs on the window lightly, but the birds only glance at him.

Huh, they must be local, already familiar with this type of methods. Hangyul grabs a broom and tries his luck with that. 

No good. The pigeons only snap their beaks at him. He jumps a little when they do that. Thankfully, no one’s around to see him. He has a reputation to uphold after all.

The next attempt includes banging two pans together. It doesn’t work either and he has to stop before his ears start bleeding.

“I’m starting to think you guys are made of plastic,” Hangyul murmurs as he goes to put away the pans. When he opens the cabinet where he found them, a box with spices slides down right at him. He manages to duck out of its way in the nick of time, but as soon as the box hits the ground, a cloud of all kinds of spices rises. Hangyul accidentally catches a whiff, prompting a series of sneezes out of him. 

If there’s a silver lining to Hangyul’s body being violently overtaken by sneezes for 30 seconds, it’s that the pigeons are finally gone.

“And don’t come back!” he exclaims, clutching the edge of the counter as he tries to regain his composure. 

He cleans the mess and returns the box to its initial place, except he makes sure it won’t assault the next person to open the cabinet.

The whole ordeal leaves him slightly exhausted, so he goes to sit on the couch and wait. Staying motionless can’t induce any trouble, right?

Then, he realizes he’s never been alone in the dorm before. With eleven of them, it’s hard to get the place cleared out. However, before Hangyul can truly enjoy the luxury of an empty dorm, he hears footsteps outside.

A second later, his four members enter the place.

“You guys are fast,” Hangyul comments as he gets up to help them with the bags. 

“Yeah, it’s possible to do a grocery run in under an hour, Hangyul,” Wooseok replies as he waddles to the coffee table with his hands balancing a bag filled to the brim with bottles. They clink when Wooseok puts them down.

“Seungwoo also ran the red light twice,” Yohan adds as he drops down a bag of snacks next to the liquor. 

“Hey, one of them was orange,” Seungwoo says and flings a pack of toilet paper at Yohan. The younger one catches it without so much as blinking. “Get this to the bathroom.”

“This one too!” Seungyoun exclaims and throws another pack at Yohan. He catches that one as well.

“Why the toilet paper?” Hangyul asks as Seungyoun plops a kiss on his cheek. He pretends to ignore him.

“It was on sale,” Seungwoo shrugs and sits on one of the couches. He claps his hands excitedly, his demeanor changing immediately. “Now shut up and let's get the show going.”

Wooseok sits next to him and cracks his knuckles. “Can’t wait to forget my name.”

“Same,” Hangyul says and takes a seat across them on the armchair. If he could choose, the whole pigeon-spice fiasco can happily leave his memory as well.

Seungyoun drops himself on Hangyul’s lap without asking. “Don’t worry, you’ll be screaming it tonight.”

“What, I’ll be screaming my own name?” Hangyul asks and throws him a puzzled look. Seungyoun narrows his eyes as he gives his words another thought.

“I’ve had the fortune of not walking in or overhearing your… endeavors and I’d like to keep it that way,” Yohan says and lies down on the second couch. 

“Lucky you,” Seungwoo murmurs. He picks up a few bags of snacks from one of the bags and pops them open.

“In conclusion,” Wooseok says, swiftly working on opening one of the wine bottles. “Seungyoun, shut up.”

Seungyoun wrinkles his forehead in a frown. “You guys are mean.”

“Also,” Hangyul shifts in his seat. “You need to sit elsewhere.”

Seungyoun gasps. “What did I ever do to _you_?”

“Where do I even begin?” Hangyul says, half-seriously. He pokes Seungyoun’s sides. “Anyway, you get all touchy-feely when you’re drunk and we agreed on minimal PDA, didn’t we?”

Seungyoun rolls his eyes as he begrudgingly gets on his feet. “I don’t let him shop _one time_ and now I have to share the couch with Yohan.”

“Hey!” Yohan exclaims as he scoots over to make space for Seungyoun. “What’s so bad about me?”

“Do you want a list or?” Wooseok asks as he starts handing everyone cups. 

“With how much free time we have, I could hand in an essay if you’d like?” Seungwoo asks, pouring bags of snacks into the tupperware Hangyul previously prepared.

Yohan presses his lips in a pout. “I can’t believe you’re making me miss the kids.”

Wooseok snorts as he takes a sip of the wine. “Doesn’t Dongpyo roast you more than us?”

Yohan makes a face at Wooseok. “Shut up.” 

It doesn’t take long until they’re all intoxicated. The four months long dry spell they had probably made them more lightweight than they expected. Before they know it, Yohan is sitting with his feet in the air and head hanging off the couch, Seungyoun insists he can compose a song from just tapping on one of the empty wine bottles with a bottle opener, Seungwoo is drawing a prototype of a tattoo he thought of on Wooseok’s back and Hangyul has taken hostage of one of the tupperware filled with chips.

“I haven’t had carbs in so long,” Hangyul whines as he takes a fistful of chips and shoves them in his mouth. 

“You eat ramen with me every night,” Seungyoun says, his eyes focused on the bottle before him. He taps it gently.

“Crunchy carbs, though! Carbs with barely any nutritional value!” Hangyul answers as he cradles the tupperware.

“Does semen have any nutritional value?” Yohan asks from the floor. 

Seungyoun spurts wine out of his nose. Hangyul throws a napkin his way, but rather than reaching him, it lands on Yohan’s face.

“Get him up, he’s got too much blood in his head,” Seungwoo says, vaguely waving in Yohan’s direction. His eyes don’t leave Wooseok’s back as he carefully covers it with a sharpie. Wooseok mindlessly goes to help Yohan, but Seungwoo grabs his shoulder to keep him seated. “Not you, you idiot.”

Seungyoun, with drops of wine dribbling down his chin, barely manages to lift Yohan back on the couch. Hangyul only observes while chewing his chips. Yohan looks at him and points a finger at him.

“You know so much about nutrition, answer me,” Yohan insists. He places his elbows on his knees and leans in, paying close attention to Hangyul. His eyes end up drooping.

Hangyul shrugs sluggishly. “I don’t know,” he slurs.

“Does he not swallow?” Yohan swings his head at Seungyoun. The swing is so ferocious that Yohan’s elbows slip from his knees and he almost knees himself in the head.

Seungyoun, who’s trying to shove a napkin up his nose to clean it up from wine, only blinks at him. “I don’t like where this conversation is going.”

“I’m gonna Google it,” Yohan says and squints at the coffee table in front of him, in search of his phone. 

“I put all our phones away so we wouldn’t post dumb stuff,” Seungwoo tells him as he adds finishing touches to Wooseok’s tattoo. Yohan groans.

“I hate your big brain,” he whines and takes a sip out of his cup. 

A few hours later, after they’ve emptied every bottle and eaten every snack, each of them drags themselves to their room. They agreed they would clean up in the morning. At least that’s how Hangyul interpreted all the mumbling.

Once inside their room, Hangyul and Seungyoun fall onto their shared bed. They’re tangled with each other when they fall and usually, something hurts when they do that, but this time Hangyul can’t feel a thing. He’ll probably feel _everything_ in the morning. Or whenever he wakes up. 

He just knows his head feels like it’s floating in the sea.

He’s about to bid good night to Seungyoun when the man in question drops a kiss on Hangyul’s collarbone. His head is propped on Hangyul’s shoulder and he’s lazily moving his mouth around. 

“You’re so handsome,” Seungyoun murmurs into Hangyul’s neck. “I thought you were a model when I first saw you.”

“Thanks,” Hangyul says back and lifts his unusually heavy arm to pet Seungyoun’s hair. Halfway through he doesn’t have enough strength left to keep it in air, so he accidentally drops it on Seungyoun’s head. The older one yelps but keeps kissing Hangyul’s neck. “I thought you were handsome too.”

“I wanna show you off to everyone I know,” Seungyoun continues and hoists himself up to look at Hangyul. He clumsily brings his hand up to Hangyul’s face and cups his chin a bit too forcefully. Hangyul’s mewls, but lets it happen. He doesn’t have the energy to fight it. “I wanna get a tattoo of your face on me.”

Hangyul frowns. “Where would you even get it?”

Seungyoun lies back on Hangyul’s shoulder. “Like my thigh. So, no one but you and I can see it.”

“I don’t wanna go down on you and see my face looking back at me,” Hangyul protests and shuffles his legs as if he’s throwing a fit. Seungyoun whines in response.

“You never let me do anything,” he says and huffs into Hangyul’s neck, tickling him.

“You literally didn’t let me go shopping with you today,” Hangyul replies and pushes Seungyoun’s face away from him. Seungyoun rolls himself off of Hangyul and lies on his bed next to him.

“My reasons weren’t _selfish_ ,” Seungyoun answers and crosses his arms. Or, at least that’s the intention. He actually just drapes them over his chest.

“How are my reasons selfish?” Hangyul questions. “If I don’t go down on you anymore, you’ll go insane. You’ll drive others crazy too.”

“You’re making me sound like a sex maniac,” Seungyoun says.

Suddenly, they hear a thud on the wall next to them. It’s the wall that separates their room from Seungwoo’s.

“Will you two please shut up?” Seungwoo yells from the other side. 

“We’re discussing the future of my thigh!” Seungyoun yells back and goes to bang on the wall as well. He doesn’t even reach it when he swings his fist at it. 

“I don’t give a fuck!” Seungwoo shouts. 

Hangyul sighs. “We should shut up. We _just_ got on his good side again.”

Seungyoun snorts. “Speak for yourself, I accidentally used his toothbrush again yesterday.”

Hangyul groans. “At this point, we’ll never convince him to take all the members out of the dorm for us just for a few hours.”

Seungyoun scoots closer to Hangyul and lazily grabs his arm. “I just wanna hear you scream _my_ name once.”

Hangyul smirks at that. “We’ll need to empty the building for that.”

Seungyoun laughs. “I can’t tell if you’re complimenting my skills or your vocals.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked that! Feel free to leave comments, I enjoy reading them :) 
> 
> Have a nice day and see you in a week with a longer chapter!!


	7. I'm matching my footsteps to yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungyoun presses his forehead to Hangyul’s. “The only thing consistent about me is my love for you.”
> 
> Hangyul physically recoils. “Please never say that again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hey! So this chapter is a third of a REALLY big chapter that I decided to split into three parts. So Hangyul's birthday is going to go on for the next two chapters, too!
> 
> Enjoy!

It is two days until Hangyul’s birthday and Seungyoun has made a deal with other members that he gets to entertain him two days before and they get to do it the day before. On the actual day of his birthday, they’ll be visiting his family in Incheon. Seungyoun is still in slight denial about that, only because he doesn’t need the anxiety to distract him from making Hangyul’s birthday as fun as possible.

In the morning, Seungyoun wakes up before Hangyul, hauls himself over his sleeping body and tiptoes to the hallway. There, he checks whether everyone is still asleep and upon his return to the room, he locks the door. 

He silently goes back to the bed and instead of trying to get back to his spot without waking Hangyul up, he straddles him instead.

Twenty minutes later, Hangyul can say with confidence he’s never been woken up in a better way. At least Seungyoun hopes.

Afterwards, Seungyoun insists they shower together. Hangyul agrees only after Seungwoo tells him he managed to convince the rest of the members it’s okay if they spend all of the hot water right away in the morning. They can always shower at night, too. 

“Are you trying to kill me?” Hangyul asks as he walks out of the shower with wobbly legs half an hour later. “I barely blew you on your birthday and for some reason, I’m getting a whole buffet?”

Seungyoun wraps Hangyul with a towel and brushes his damp bangs off his forehead. He cracks a smile at Hangyul’s flushed cheeks - spoiler alert, they’re not from the steam. “We were busy back then. Besides, it’s not a competition or whatever, you don’t owe me a thing.”

Hangyul points his index finger at Seungyoun. “I’m returning the favor nevertheless.”

Seungyoun rolls his eyes in response. “I’m looking forward to it,” he taps Hangyul’s outstretched finger with his own.” Also, we’re not done yet.”

Hangyul’s eyes bug out. “There’s more? I hope you realize I’m not a blow-up doll.”

Seungyoun swats his forearm. “Don’t be ridiculous, I planned different activities for us,” upon seeing Hangyul’s unchanged expression, he adds: “ _Clothed_ activities.”

Hangyul sighs defeatedly and hands Seungyoun a new towel from a nearby rack. “It’s not even my birthday yet.”

“I know, I made a deal with the members,” Seungyoun says as he wipes himself. “I get you for today and then share you tomorrow and the day after with others.”

“Why are you celebrating my birthday like some sort of a festival? It’s just one day, it’s not that big of a deal,” Hangyul sighs. “I mean, I’m grateful, but I feel like I don’t appreciate you guys enough in return.”

Seungyoun scoffs and quickly ties the towel around his hips. Once his arms are free, he opens them and wraps Hangyul with them. “First of all, we love you. Second of all, you’re the one feeding us with the very best groceries these days. And you do our laundry. _And_ you’re a joy to have around.”

Hangyul’s cheeks fill with blood. Seungyoun can take credit for that too. “You’re just saying that because it’s my birthday,” he says, smiling at Seungyoun.

Seungyoun groans and buries his head in Hangyul’s neck. “Listen here, I’m going to be saying a lot of things today and none of them are because it’s your birthday. Besides, it’s not your birthday yet, _is it_?”

Hangyul chuckles at Seungyoun’s remarks. “What are you going to be saying?”

Seungyoun lifts his head and wiggles his eyebrows at Hangyul. “Stick around and you’ll find out.”

“One moment you’re spoiling me, the next you’re teasing me,” Hangyul comments, shaking his head slightly. “Quite inconsistent, I have to say.”

Seungyoun presses his forehead to Hangyul’s. “The only thing consistent about me is my love for you.”

Hangyul physically recoils. “Please never say that again.”

“Seriously, that’s disgusting,” Minhee suddenly adds from the other side of the door. “At least try to keep _some_ of your pride.”

“Don’t eavesdrop, you pervert!” Seungyoun yells at the door, but unfortunately, Hangyul’s ear that’s right next to Seungyoun’s mouth suffers the most damage. Hangyul flinches from the high volume. Seungyoun reacts straight away by putting his head next to Hangyul’s and rocking them both back and forth. Hangyul lets it happen - Seungyoun’s in a sappy mood and there’s no point in trying to get him to stop.

“I need to pee!” they hear Minhee exclaim. A moment later the door handle shakes.

Hangyul taps Seungyoun’s shoulder. “Let’s go before he tears the door down.”

“You’re the one with muscles here,” Seungyoun replies, but untangles himself from Hangyul, nonetheless.

“I’m not fighting a 17-year-old,” Hangyul protests as he finishes drying himself.

“Yeah, because you have some dignity left,” Minhee says and then proceeds loudly. “Unlike someone.”

Seungyoun crosses the bathroom in a heartbeat and bangs twice on the door with his fist. They hear a startled squawk on the other side.

“Go tend to that plant you think Seungwoo doesn’t know about,” Seungyoun tells him and shoots Hangyul a wink.

When they moved in, Seungwoo banned any living creatures from the dorm - including plants - because he didn’t trust anyone to be able to take care of it properly. When Minhee, a self-proclaimed plant enthusiast, complained, Seungwoo made a pact with him that if all members managed to keep a plant alive for a month, he’d get to keep one forever. 

The first plant that died was during week two as a consequence of Dohyon’s heedlessness. Some members were relieved because tending to a plant while preparing for debut wasn’t easy, but some were disappointed - mainly Minhee. Thankfully, schedules kept his mind off of plants for a while, but a few days into their hiatus, he found himself sneaking a plant in with the help of Hangyul. 

Everyone collectively decided to not leak anything to Seungwoo just to see how long it would take for Minhee to slip up and have Seungwoo discover the plant. It’s been a month already and the plant has grown tremendously (it could outgrow Wooseok soon, but don’t tell him that). Hiding it gets harder with each coming day, but that’s why teasing Minhee about it gets funnier.

“What? What do you mean?” Minhee panics. He frantically shakes the doorknob again. 

Seungyoun chuckles at Minhee’s uneasiness as he puts his clothes on. Hangyul follows suit.

“We should really place bets at this point,” Seungyoun comments as he slides himself into a pair of jeans.

“Seungwoo banned gambling,” Hangyul informs him while failing to put on a T-shirt. His head and arm are stuck. Seungyoun snorts and approaches to help him.

“When did I miss that?” Seungyoun asks. With a bit of a struggle, he guides Hangyul’s head and arm into the correct direction. Hangyul’s face peeks out, red again. Seungyoun can’t take credit this time.

“Last week when Dongpyo bet Junho he couldn’t stuff twenty Oreos in his mouth,” Hangyul replies as he fans himself with his hands. Seungyoun assists him.

“And?” Seungyoun inquires. 

“Junho made it to fifteen when Seungwoo walked in on them,” Hangyul shrugs, disappointed. “I was rooting for him.”

“You know, I heard Seungwoo was visiting his family next week.” Seungyoun quirks an eyebrow at Hangyul.

“If he catches us, it was your idea,” Hangyul replies and winks. 

Before they know it, they’re decent enough to leave and Seungyoun is more than ready to whisk Hangyul away for the day. When they finally unlock the door, Minhee bursts inside with tens of questions flying out of his mouth.

“Did Seungwoo say something about it? How do you know? I don’t think he can see it, I put a blanket over it!” Minhee fires off as soon as his eyes lay on them. Hangyul only pats the top of his head as he passes him.

“Ah, puberty,” Seungyoun comments reminiscently. The two slowly make their way down the hallway towards their room, leaving angst-ridden Minhee behind. Seungyoun grabs Hangyul’s hand and swings their joined hands back and forth. “Let’s dry our hair and get going.”

“Where are we going?” Hangyul asks. They enter their room which they left in disarray after their… immodest behaviour. Hangyul, being a slight neat-freak, starts making the bed at the drop of a hat. Seungyoun makes himself useful and opens the window in an effort to air the room out. 

“We’re going to my apartment,” Seungyoun answers his question with a slight delay. Hangyul pauses his tidying up and cranes his neck in Seungyoun’s direction. 

“We’re going to your mom’s?” Hangyul asks and Seungyoun can clearly see trepidation gradually seep into his body.

“ _No_ ,” Seungyoun accentuates to relieve Hangyul of unnecessary alarm. “We’re going to my place. That I own.”

Hangyul furrows his eyebrows in confusion. “You have your own apartment?”

Seungyoun clears his throat and squirms in his spot. “Yeah.”

“I don’t think you’ve ever mentioned it,” Hangyul says slowly as he lowers the sheet he was tugging.

When he notices Seungyoun twiddling his thumbs, he immediately realizes what’s going on. He completely drops the sheet and approaches Seungyoun who hid his uneasy hands behind his back. “Is it because you don’t like telling things that let people know you’re wealthy?”

Seungyoun clenches his jaw and nods curtly. Bingo.

Hangyul sighs. They have discussed this numerous times before. “Seungyoun, you know you don’t have to be like that with me. You know I don’t care if you could buy our entire company three times. The same goes for the opposite. You could have half a penny to your name, and it wouldn’t affect how I feel towards you.”

Seungyoun begins to blush at Hangyul’s words. “That’s very sweet of you.”

Hangyul rolls his eyes at Seungyoun’s lame response. He wraps his arms around Seungyoun and pulls him closer. Surprised by the tug, Seungyoun stumbles into his embrace. “I love you for you, not for your wallet.”

Seungyoun’s lips spread into a smile as he steadies himself. “I love you, too.”

Hangyul presses a kiss to Seungyoun’s cheek and lets go of him. He knows he’ll have to deal with this many times more but letting Seungyoun know he’s with him no matter what never gets old, even if Seungyoun remembers that for just a moment. Is Seungyoun’s sappiness slowly affecting him?

“Go dry your hair, I’ll join you in a moment. I have to finish making the bed.”

“Yes, _dear_ ,” Seungyoun responds and quickly leans in to return the kiss. Hangyul smiles at Seungyoun and makes his way back to the bed.

* * *

During the car ride to Seungyoun’s apartment, Hangyul brings up an odd topic. They’re stuck in traffic, courtesy of Seungyoun for deciding to visit his place during rush hour. 

“So, this article came across my feed the other day and since I’ve been so bored lately, I clicked on it,” Hangyul starts as he flicks around the air freshener hanging from the mirror. “It was about things every couple should discuss before getting serious.”

Seungyoun groans instantly. “We said five years until we start discussing marriage.”

“I _know_ , but they included other stuff like jealousy, cheating, sexual orientation and such,” Hangyul continues. “I think we should talk about this so we can get it out of the way.”

“I don’t think it was ever _in_ the way, but okay. Go for it,” Seungyoun replies.

Hangyul straightens out in his seat and cracks his knuckles in preparation. “Okay, are you the jealous type?”

Seungyoun purses his lips in thought. “No, I wouldn’t say so. I trust you.”

Hangyul clutches at his chest dramatically. “You’re full of sweet words today.”

Seungyoun snorts. He nods in Hangyul’s direction as he eyes the busy road ahead. “What about you?”

Hangyul shakes his head leisurely. “Nah, I know you’re whipped for me.”

Seungyoun chokes on his saliva. Given the fact the car hasn’t moved an inch in the last ten minutes, Seungyoun grants himself the luxury of staring at Hangyul. “Oh, am I?” he asks, despite already knowing the answer.

Hangyul laughs at Seungyoun’s vexation. 

“Well, yeah,” Hangyul answers, relaxing in his seat. He stretches one of his arms, so it reaches the back of Seungyoun’s head. He plays with his hair absent-mindedly. It has got long during their break. “I know I’m yours. I’ve seen your songs about me - “

“You’ve seen those? I hid them!” Seungyoun exclaims, almost turning in his seat. The seatbelt strains to contain him.

Hangyul snorts. “You put them in our shared drawer, genius,” he says and pokes Seungyoun’s cheek. “Anyway, I’ve seen the songs, I’m pretty sure you have me on speed dial for some reason and you always find time to listen to me ramble about whatever. I never feel like you don’t want me.”

Seungyoun smiles shyly. “I have you on speed dial because you help me solve anything. And when you don’t, you make the situation funny.”

“I think you called me maybe three times these past few months, I’m always right next to you,” Hangyul laughs but his expression softens. “Good to know we trust each other then.”

Seungyoun returns the smile. “What’s next on the list?”

“Cheating!” Hangyul says way too exuberantly for such a subject. “What do you consider to be cheating?”

“Hmm, I never gave it too much thought, to be honest,” Seungyoun replies. “Of course, if you do anything physical with the person, that counts. You know, kissing and sex and such. There’s emotional cheating, too. I guess that counts as well.”

Hangyul nods in agreement. “Yeah. If either of us falls in love with someone else, we end this, okay?”

“Yes, I agree,” Seungyoun replies and gulps. “Are you sure you want to have this kind of conversation while stuck in traffic?”

“What’s your sexual orientation?” Hangyul asks instead, completely ignoring Seungyoun’s question.

“I’m Hangyul-sexual,” Seungyoun answers cheekily, as revenge for Hangyul not acknowledging his question. He even sticks his tongue out at Hangyul.

“I’m going to leave the car,” Hangyul threatens while pretending he’s about to unfasten his seatbelt. “For your information, I’m gay, thank you.”

“ _Likewise_ , sport,” Seungyoun says back and winks. 

“Cool, moving on,” Hangyul says and then pauses. “Actually, I forgot what I wanted to ask next.”

“Oh, thank God,” Seungyoun exhales in relief. “You can’t expect me to have a serious conversation while operating a moving vehicle.”

“What moving vehicle, we haven’t moved in fifteen minutes?” Hangyul says and gestures at the lines of cars ahead of them.

As if on cue, the cars finally start moving. Seungyoun hastily gets his foot on the gas and the car quietly rumbles to life as it drives forward.

“I should have said something sooner,” Hangyul comments. The cars start accelerating as the road gets clearer. 

“You’re my lucky charm,” Seungyoun beams at him, but quickly returns his look on the road. The smile that’s tugging at his lips doesn’t fade away though.

Hangyul grimaces upon hearing Seungyoun’s syrupy remark. “Why are you so mushy mushy today?”

“I can’t wait to get you to my place and do whatever I want with you without the fear of someone barging in or gagging or whatnot,” Seungyoun says all in one breath as if he’s been waiting for the acknowledgement.

“ _Well_ ,” Hangyul begins, totally brushing aside Seungyoun’s enthusiasm. “You could have done that any time you wanted. I don’t know why you waited, what, five months to do so?”

“Has it been five months already?” Seungyoun asks suddenly, giving Hangyul a puzzled look. Hangyul’s face mirrors his as he also gives it a thought. 

“I’ll be honest, I have no clue on what date we got together,” Hangyul says.

Seungyoun shakes his head. “All my days on the show blended into one. I found out it was July on the day of the finale.”

“I found out when I saw the date on Junho’s birthday cake,” Hangyul adds. “Thankfully, no one outside the show had a birthday during that time. I’d have missed it.”

They both sigh as their thoughts wander to those days. They’re on the highway and the smooth asphalt and minimal slowing down relaxes them. Around them, a blur of faraway trees and buildings.

After a few quiet minutes, Seungyoun speaks up.

“Would you rather go back on the show and be busy or stay in our current situation?”

Hangyul knits his eyebrows. It’s an interesting question. He’s dying to work on any kind of a project soon. If they asked him to work on Christmas Day at this point, he wouldn’t even think of complaining. He can feel boredom gnawing at his brain. He needs something to stimulate it once again. 

He misses the thrill of learning new dances or struggling with a line for days on end until finally getting it right. He still choreographs, but the feeling isn’t the same when he knows he won’t be able to show it to anyone. He just wishes he could get feedback on _anything_ these days. The days are getting darker and longer, but for the members, it’s not due to winter’s arrival.

However, despite missing activities, he wouldn’t like to return to those days on the show. Those days spent in practice rooms with barely any contact with the outside world or fresh air weren’t so good on him either. When he wasn’t practicing, he was worrying over his rank or pining over Seungyoun. He was restless even when asleep. By the end of it, he didn’t feel like himself.

“Stay here,” Hangyul concludes. He stretches his arm and squeezes Seungyoun’s shoulder gently. “I’d rather be bored with you and stuck in a car with you and count the number of stains on our ceiling for the seventh time with you. Back then, whatever I did, it felt wrong. I second-guessed everything. The only thing I second-guess with you is whether I should have let you talk me into watching yet another drama with you.”

Seungyoun’s cheeks bunch up as he grins. He looks as if he’s going to say something, but the way he bites his lips indicates he’s indecisive. He stays silent for a few seconds until Hangyul butts in.

“Are you going to say something?” he asks, peering at the older one.

Seungyoun exhales while still smiling. “You got me excited, I don’t know what to respond to first,” he tells him, bug-eyed, and then suddenly turns on the blinkers and takes a left turn. “Let me just park the car because I can’t do this while driving.”

Hangyul frowns, looking around. “Are you parking at a random building?”

Seungyoun waves his hand energetically. “Oh, no, no! We’re here! And it’s underground parking so don’t worry about anyone seeing us.”

“We’re here?” Hangyul exclaims, now more determined to check the neighborhood out. However, Seungyoun has already located the entrance to the parking lot so Hangyul barely manages a glance. “Also, you’re the one who always worries about people seeing us, I don’t really care.”

“You don’t care if someone sees us kissing?” Seungyoun asks as the car glides downwards into the darkened lot. 

Hangyul sports a confused expression. “Kissing? Why would we be kissing in public?”

Seungyoun’s eyes almost bulge out at Hangyul’s question. “How do you expect me _not_ to smother you with kisses after everything you told me?”

Hangyul’s face breaks into a grin when he connects the dots. “You’re adorable. I don’t know what got into you.”

Seungyoun quickly parks into the first available spot he sees and turns off the engine. “I’d tell you what, but you’d call me ‘sappy’,” he says, smiling as he unbuckles his seat belt. Before Hangyul can sass him back, Seungyoun reaches across the car, cups Hangyul’s face in his hands and plants his lips on him.

Hangyul makes a sound at the back of his throat in surprise but returns the kiss feverishly. He blindly tries to undo his seat belt as well, but with Seungyoun kissing him like it's their last day on Earth, he can’t really focus.

Upon noticing Hangyul’s struggle, Seungyoun pulls away with a groan and unfastens the belt in one swift move. He’s about to lean in again and resume, but Hangyul stops him with a hand on his chest. 

“Let’s finish this in your apartment,” he offers, slightly breathless.

Seungyoun waves his hand dismissively. “I live on the 15th floor, I can’t wait until then. Can I climb in your lap?”

“Yeah, of course,” Hangyul replies and leans back in his seat to make space for Seungyoun. Then he registers what Seungyoun previously said. “Wait, 15th floor? Isn’t that right at the top?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Seungyoun says as he carefully dodges the gear stick while moving his legs onto Hangyul. 

“It’s a penthouse, isn’t it?” Hangyul asks exasperatedly while closely watching Seungyoun’s every move so the older one doesn’t slip on something and break his nose on Hangyul. 

Finally, Seungyoun settles in Hangyul’s lap, straddling him. With that sight in front of him, Hangyul almost forgets his question.

“ _No_ , it’s not a penthouse,” Seungyoun says and rests his arms on Hangyul’s shoulders. He looks directly at him. “ _No_ , no one will see us, the windows are tinted.” he shifts in Hangyul’s lap which seems to please Hangyul since he gasps. “ _Shut up_ because you’ve given me a lot of feelings and I need to take them out on you.”

Their lips meet again and Hangyul melts into the touch without a care in the world. He’ll bother Seungyoun with all the questions after he’s done handling his feelings.

It takes fifteen minutes, a hickey and sudden tightening of their pants until Hangyul calls for a time-out.

“I’m not walking with ruined underwear to the fifteenth floor,” Hangyul justifies himself for literally holding Seungyoun back with both his hands. The fact they’re both under his shirt is irrelevant.

“I can carry you,” Seungyoun says back and tries to lean forward. Hangyul pushes him back.

“That’s hot,” Hangyul acknowledges. “But I’m not going back home with _no_ underwear then.”

Seungyoun rolls his eyes as he sits back, seemingly in defeat. “First of all, I live in an apartment with two bedrooms and two bathrooms, do you really think I don’t own a washing machine and a dryer? Secondly, I could always borrow you my underwear.”

Hangyul almost lets himself consider Seungyoun’s suggestions, but they had a similar incident not long ago when he found himself playing along to Seungyoun’s frisky ideas and he’s learned his lesson since.

“Take me to your apartment and we’ll finish this properly,” Hangyul offers, cocking an eyebrow at Seungyoun. “You can give me the tour and whatever else you planned afterwards. I’ll follow whatever you throw at me if we take this to your, at least I assume, king-sized bed.”

Seungyoun sighs audibly as he rests his forehead on Hangyul’s. “It’s so attractive when you’re being the voice of reason.”

Hangyul slides his hands off of Seungyoun to indicate it’s time for them to get out before their muscles start cramping up. Seungyoun picks up the signal and opens the door to get off of Hangyul.

* * *

In the elevator to the apartment, Seungyoun tries to initiate another carnal activity, but Hangyul finds a way to stop him.

“You said you had a lot to say to me back in the car,” Hangyul says, placing one hand on his chest to keep some distance between them. Once Seungyoun gets too close, not even Hangyul can hold back. “Say it now.”

Seungyoun’s face stretches into a smile again as he excitedly claps his hands. “Ah, thank you for reminding me! First things first, I love you!”

Hangyul’s heart swells, just like every time Seungyoun says that. “I love you, too,” he tells him, smiling back.

Seungyoun exhales, not breaking eye-contact. “Don’t say anything, you make my heart race when you do.”

Hangyul lets out a giggle, surprising both him and Seungyoun in the process. Excited Seungyoun tends to make Hangyul excited as well. 

Seungyoun spins him and pulls him close into a back hug. He hooks his chin on Hangyul’s shoulder. He does it so smoothly that Hangyul starts to think it has become a dance of theirs. 

“What you said about the show… how you second-guessed everything and now you don’t anymore,” Seungyoun starts. Hangyul can feel his hot breath on his chin. “It feels right, doesn’t it? The two of us?”

Hangyul nods. Seungyoun sounds elated, but the tone of sincerity that permeates his words holds Hangyul back from calling out his sappiness. Besides, it’s not like Hangyul disagrees. “Yeah, it feels like it all came together,” Hangyul tells him. His heart quickens and if Seungyoun’s raises his arms a little more, he’ll be able to feel it. 

Seungyoun tightens his embrace on Hangyul. “Yes! I feel the same way! I was unsure of every single thing I did on that show until you swooped in and now… every worry feels secondary. And then you mentioned the dramas we watch, and I remembered I bookmarked a bunch of them with you in mind, so you won’t doze off during the episodes. And the stains! I was thinking of painting something on the ceiling so we’d both get an activity out of it and a pretty picture. And being stuck in a car with you is great, we need to go on a road trip! How long is the drive to your family’s?”

Hangyul lifts his hands to grabs Seungyoun’s that are surrounding him. “Please, breathe.”

Seungyoun laughs as he unhooks himself from Hangyul and spins him around again. “Sometimes you hit my sappy nerve and I can’t help myself.”

Hangyul lets out a chuckle and pecks Seungyoun on the lips. “I like your ideas. What kind of a painting did you have in mind?”

Seungyoun sneaks his arms around Hangyul again. The younger one throws them around Seungyoun’s neck. “Maybe the Milky Way? Or sheep so we can count them to sleep?”

Hangyul laughs. “You do realize the kids will want to sleep in our room if we do this?”

“Oh, for sure. We’ll have to paint their ceilings too then,” Seungyoun says. Then, his eyes attain a mischievous glint. “ _Or_ , we’ll have to go here to fulfill our needs.”

Hangyul licks his lips. “Not a bad idea,” then, he frowns. They’ve been in the elevator for some time now. Certainly, enough time has passed between the garage and the 15th floor. “Shouldn’t we have been on your floor by now?” he looks around in confusion.

Seungyoun jumps up. “Oh right, I hit the emergency button to stop the elevator. I really wanted to tell you everything before we got there. I’d have jumped at you right away if we walked through that door so soon.”

Hangyul gives him a perplexed look as Seungyoun walks over to the control panel and pushes a button to continue the ride.

“You stopped an elevator so you could gush about us in peace?” he asks, staring in awe at Seungyoun. “What if you made someone late for work?”

Seungyoun huffs as he leisurely walks back to Hangyul. “There are four other elevators, I know what I’m doing.”

Hangyul relaxes a bit. “Your romantic gestures are unconventional, but they sure do tug at my heartstrings.”

Seungyoun giggles just as the elevator pings, announcing that they’ve finally arrived. He winks at Hangyul, grabs his hand and hurriedly leads him towards his apartment.

* * *

Hangyul doesn’t see much of the apartment when he arrives. It’s big, Seungyoun decorated it well in his style, but Seungyoun also dragged him to his bedroom before Hangyul could truly admire the place.

Once in the bedroom, Seungyoun almost throws Hangyul on the bed and hovers over him. He pauses, looking at Hangyul with his disheveled hair, slightly pink cheeks, and rumpled jumper.

“I already know I’m going to get addicted to this,” Seungyoun says, eyes covering every piece of Hangyul. “ You in my bed with absolutely no one around.” he looks up towards the large windows. “I could put the blinds up and no one would see us.”

Hangyul grabs Seungyoun’s shirt. “Put yourself in me first,” he says and pulls him down into a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked that one :D See ya next week, have a nice day!!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like it! I will be posting once a week, maybe twice if I get too excited. I'm trying to stick to how things went chronologically in real life, but I'm bound to make a mistake so please be forgiving. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and see you soon!
> 
> (PS. the title 'jazz bar' is based on Dreamcatcher's song Jazz Bar, I recommend you give it a listen!)


End file.
